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jo20101577 · Jun 11, 2012, 06:18 PM

I have a daughter who is 17 months old (her birthday is 12/31/10). Her father and I were never married. I didn't put his name on the birth certificate, and he requested a paternity test in November of 2011. He has never supported her, paid child support, never seen her on a regular basis, he has seen her maybe five times or less in the last 5 months, and it has now been three weeks without any contact from him what so ever. Basically, he has never been in her life and she doesn't know who he is. I was wondering if I could seek involuntary termination of his rights, or if it could be considered extreme parental disinterest. Any help would be amazing.

AK lawyer · Jun 11, 2012, 06:30 PM

I am curious: What do you figure the point would be in terminating rights he never exercises anyway?
To answer the question, and depending on where you are, you could ask the court to possibly give you sole custody. You should also ask for a child support order.

ScottGem · Jun 11, 2012, 06:33 PM

Have you asked for support? If there is no court order for support he doesn't owe any.

As AK asked, what do you think you would gain if you could terminate his rights. Which is highly unlikely.

jo20101577 · Jun 11, 2012, 06:44 PM

I am sorry I didn't give enough details. I have been keeping records of when he visits, and he has seen her 5 times since January. There has been a court order for child support (I believe in Feb. of 2012), but he has never given me anything.
I want his rights terminated because he is the kind of person that if he seen I had a new boyfriend, he would come and seek visitation simply to spite me. I know she would not be taken care of, because he is not doing it for her best interest. He wants to maintain some kind of control over me, and he would not care what would happen to her.

jo20101577 · Jun 11, 2012, 06:46 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Have you asked for support? If there is no court order for support he doesn't owe any.

As AK asked, what do you think you would gain if you could terminate his rights. Which is highly unlikely.

Also, I forgot to add, I live in WV.

ScottGem · Jun 11, 2012, 06:47 PM

Why haven't you pursued the support order?

But the courts are not going to terminate his rights under these conditions. If he asks for visitation, then you go to court showing his indifference.

jo20101577 · Jun 11, 2012, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Why haven't you pursued the support order?

But the courts are not going to terminate his rights under these conditions. If he asks for visitation, then you go to court showing his indifference.

I was going to call my attorney tomorrow to find out the steps in pursuing the support; I was just anxious and wanting some answers now.
If I did show the courts his disinterest, what would be the result?

I know this is a bit ridiculous, but I did not get to pick when I get to be a parent, so I don't like that he gets to pop in and out whenever he feels like it. I have begged for him to see her at least three times a week. I have offered for him to come to my home, for me to bring her to his home, or to even meet in public. I have been extremely and overly cooperative, but he never tries to see her. He just randomly shows up whenever he wants and demands to take her for weekends. I am not OK with that because she is only 17 months and does not know who he is.

jo20101577 · Jun 11, 2012, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by jo20101577

I was going to call my attorney tomorrow to find out the steps in pursuing the support; I was just anxious and wanting some answers now.
If I did show the courts his disinterest, what would be the result?

I know this is a bit ridiculous, but I did not get to pick and choose when I get to be a parent, so I don't like that he gets to pop in and out whenever he feels like it. I have begged for him to see her at least three times a week. I have offered for him to come to my home, for me to bring her to his home, or to even meet in public. I have been extremely and overly cooperative, but he never tries to see her. He just randomly shows up whenever he wants and demands to take her for weekends. I am not ok with that because she is only 17 months and does not know who he is.

**sorry, wanted to add: I wanted him to see her on a regular basis so she could be familiar with him. However, he never would. He thinks that just because he is the father, she will automatically know who he is, even if he hasn't been around in months.**

ScottGem · Jun 11, 2012, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by jo20101577

If I did show the courts his disinterest, what would be the result?

Probably disinterest on the courts part. Unless you can prove he is a danger to the child, they ate unlikely to do anything except maybe make any visitation at your discretion unless he goes to court.

Originally Posted by jo20101577

but I did not get to pick and choose when I get to be a parent, .

Um, I beg to differ. You chose to have sex with him. Engaging in sexual intercourse means taking the risk of pregnancy.

jo20101577 · Jun 11, 2012, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Probably disinterest on the courts part. Unless you can prove he is a danger to the child, they ate unlikely to do anything except maybe make any visitation at your discretion unless he goes to court.

Um, I beg to differ. You chose to have sex with him. Engaging in sexual intercourse means taking the risk of pregnancy.

I understand that part, I do not condone my behavior. I am just saying that now I try to be the best parent I can be, while he gets to do whatever he wants. I completely agree with you and know the mistakes I made, but I just try to do what is best by her now. ((I appreciate all of your help by the way.))

ScottGem · Jun 12, 2012, 03:21 AM

Originally Posted by jo20101577

I understand that part, I do not condone my behavior. I am just saying that now I try to be the best parent I can be, while he gets to do whatever he wants. I completely agree with you and know the mistakes I made, but I just try to do what is best by her now. ((I appreciate all of your help by the way.))

And I, in turn, understand that. The courts hopefully will also. Like I said, you can probably get control of visitation. But if he goes to court, says he has had a change of heart and wants to be an active father, the court is likely to give him a chance to do so. That's why they won't terminate his rights.

They would likely allow him a visitation schedule. Now if he doesn't follow the schedule, then you go back to court and say 'look you gave him a chance and he just ignored the schedule'. So they will give you back control.