[lifeseeker]

Let me describe in brief.
I am 22 year old male.
I was like everyone else till my high school.When I came to college,I don't know what happened to me,I spoke to anyone rarely,I talked very less.Also I was into drugs in my college life,but it only lead to self destruction unlike others.Now I find myself very weak,I can't speak now,my mind stays blank all the time,I don't know what to talk about to others.I screwed myself in everything career,health,relation.I can't even talk about this to anyone as drugs were involved.I can't think,talk,do things like a normal person.Sometimes my heart beat amplifies enough to vibrate my body along with it,my hands shiver,lost the coordination and cognition with my body and mind,I can't understand other people. And I have been alone since a long time,had a weird life what I don't deserve.There was a time in my life when people used to think that I'm very talented and smart person.Now they think I'm dumb.I don't know why I allowed these changes but I want to live like a normal person and be happy.I can't write here much either.I would appreciate if anyone is familier with these things as I am tired of seeking for help.And the best part - I can't live life like this when it comes to professional as it is very necessary to know how to deal and read people and understand what's good for you.Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed.

[JudyKayTee]

Did you literally burn your brains out with drugs?

I have no idea what "I was into drugs in my college life, but it only lead to self destruction unlke others" means. What others?

Were people aware you were using? Maybe they think you WERE smart and talented but now they aren't so sure.

Have you talked to a professional about any of this?

[Homegirl 50]

I would suggest you go to the doctor, get a physical exam and then go from there. Make sure there is nothing physically wrong.

[Wondergirl]

Did you finish college, drop out, or are you still there? What do you do all day?

[lifeseeker]

Hmmm my college is nearly over,just a month more.I'm not able to do anything,I just sit on my laptop all day.Also my social reputation is screwed so I don't like going out much.

[Wondergirl]

What will your degree be in, and what will you do with it?

[lifeseeker]

Engineering.I don't know what I'll do in future,I'm not able to think in bigger prospect,I'm stuck with problems due to which I can't think as a smart person.
I haven't studied in these years so I'm lagging behind the world.

[Wondergirl]

Do you have family or an adult in your life to guide you? Maybe even the college career office? Which country are you in?

[lifeseeker]

I have family but no one seems to be familier with this type of situation.As they haven't seen all this in their life.I can't go to college people also as they can bust me and inform my parents,people here are so badass.All is I'm on my own and you people

[Wondergirl]

I wonder too about your seeing a doctor to be evaluated for mental capacity and health. Is that possible?

[lifeseeker]

At least not until I leave this place,a month more,but I'm scared what if its too late because I have to start taking responsibilities to support my family

[lifeseeker]

I don't trust people here not even doctors,they sometimes give wrong medication

[Wondergirl]

Do you feel confident to look for work and to get a job? Will your university help with that ?

[lifeseeker]

No,I have lost my communication skills,now I can't even speak properly,also people can notice that I'm not confident or nervous.No my university is not helping,they don't give as long as money is flowing into their college.Now they have my junior batch to look upon.All I have to everything by myself.No one comes to help people,they just seek oppurtunity to use others for their benefits.All they can do is to laugh on others and make fun of it as entertainment.

[Homegirl 50]

You need to see a doctor. Get yourself checked. You need to know what you're dealing with physically.

[lifeseeker]

Yeah?what will I tell to doctor?he will admit me in the hospital

[Wondergirl]

Why would he admit you? Do you have counselors where you live?

[Homegirl 50]

You need to talk to someone.

[lifeseeker]

I have tried,but my social image is screwed,so my words and me have no value now.

[Homegirl 50]

I have tried,but my social image is screwed,so my words and me have no value now.

A physician!