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    heyyouknowme12's Avatar
    heyyouknowme12 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 8, 2012, 06:04 PM
    Just feelings.
    I feel that I'm useless. About 2 years ago my father and my mother always having fights with each other. And then now my father got cancer but know he is fine but the fights between them didn't end. Yet my mum don't talk about anything now because of him. But she usually tell me that she is sad because he lie on her. I feel that I can't bear this anymore. I'm only16 years and I know everything, and I don't have sisters or brothers!
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #2

    Jun 8, 2012, 06:16 PM
    For one, no one in this world is useless not even you. We are all here for a reason, and in time we learn what reason that is.

    Secondly, your parents go about their own business, yeah they're your family, but there's nothing you can do to stop them from fighting, they fight and will fight no matter what. My parents used to fight a lot, I was never sure what it was about because the second I'd hear my parents raise their voice, I would leave. Go for a walk, think about the test coming up in two weeks, or who threw that pop can on the side of the road, or what I'm going to do tomorrow. If it was late, I'd toss my headphones in and play my favorite tune. Try it, you'd be surprised at how good it works.
    heyyouknowme12's Avatar
    heyyouknowme12 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 8, 2012, 06:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace View Post
    For one, no one in this world is useless not even you. We are all here for a reason, and in time we learn what reason that is.

    Secondly, your parents go about their own business, yeah they're your family, but there's nothing you can do to stop them from fighting, they fight and will fight no matter what. My parents used to fight a lot, I was never sure what it was about because the second I'd hear my parents raise their voice, I would leave. Go for a walk, think about the test coming up in two weeks, or who threw that pop can on the side of the road, or what I'm going to do tomorrow. If it was late, I'd toss my headphones in and play my favorite tune. Try it, you'd be surprised at how good it works.
    Thanks a lot , but what I want to say that my mother always tell me about everything even if I went far! She wants me to be there for her so she tells me!
    So I don't know what to do I told her so many times that I don't want to know anything but she always tell me!
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Jun 8, 2012, 06:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by heyyouknowme12 View Post
    Thanks a alot , but what i want to say that my mother always tell me about everything even if i went far! she wants me to be there for her so she tells me!
    so i dont know what to do i told her so many times that i dont want to know anything but she always tell me !!
    Tell mom that it's not your job to help her through her marital problems, that it's not your job to be there for her. She's the mom, not you.

    Tell her that the fighting upsets you, and you don't want to hear about it, and you can't fix it. You're only a child. She's the adult, the mom, and she should start acting like one.
    heyyouknowme12's Avatar
    heyyouknowme12 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jun 8, 2012, 06:27 PM
    Yeah I got it :) thank you so much!
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Jun 8, 2012, 06:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by heyyouknowme12 View Post
    Yeah i got it :) thank you so much !!
    You're welcome sweetie. This shouldn't be on your shoulders. Let mom deal with her own stuff. She's supposed to be an adult. You're a kid. So next time mom and dad fight, go for a walk, like Cobra suggested. If mom says "but I need you", just say "I need you too! I need you to be a mom, and not rely on me to comfort you! I need the comfort! I'm the kid!"

    It's time for mom to grow up and be an adult.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #7

    Jun 8, 2012, 06:33 PM
    It actually shocks me that your mom would run to her daughter for help after a fight. My parents always tried to fight in their room with the door shut, sometimes things got heated and well you know a door can't stop everything, but they always tried to keep it away from us.

    Everyone's different though, but if they're fighting and you don't like it, get out of there kiddo, or blast your favorite tunes.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Jun 8, 2012, 10:13 PM
    You are far from useless, just helpless to make the adults you love behave better, especially your mom, who puts a lot of pressure on you. Tell her to stop.

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