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    rubaiya25's Avatar
    rubaiya25 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 6, 2012, 08:01 AM
    My parents don't agree with my choice of spouse
    As disgusting as it sounds I WAS in a relationship with someone for over 2 years, however we both decided to let go of each other for the sake of Allah and started practicing our deen properly.

    When we were together in the haraam relationship my parents found out and had forbidden me to see and talk to him it took a while but we realised they were right and decided to let go of each other and if Allah wills for us to be married in the future then it'll happen.

    We haven't spoken or seen each other in a while but I found out that he recently tried to contact my dad by writing a letter asking if they could meet and for my hand etc.

    My dad hasn't told me about this but I found out one day when I was cleaning his room and came across it as I was close to chucking it in the bin. I read everything and it brought me to tears. I couldn't believe how much he's changed and actually became everything I'm looking for in a husband. He has his deen in check, he's got a job and he's studied really hard and I didn't just get this from the letter, my friends who happen to be his sisters friends also informed on how much he's changed.

    Neither of my parents will agree because one of the men, my dad's DISTANT relative (but not blood) lived in our village back home who I am supposed to call my uncle is married to my suitors (the boy who wants to marry me) sister and my parents therefore say that makes my suitor also my uncle.

    I want to know if it is wrong to marry him, islamically?

    And if so, why? Because my suitor/ his sister and her husband are not related to me in any way by blood and he has the qualities of a good muslim man so I don't see the problem.

    And if it is allowed in islam for me to marry this boy, how can I get my parents to accept him because they seem pretty settled on their decision not to give me away to him.

    There are also personal issues within myself in which I can't or won't feel comfortable to marry someone else and don't want to burden them with my issues. This boy, despite of what he knows of my condition still decided he wanted to marry me and I know it would be hard for any other man that I don't know to accept this kind of responsibility.

    Please please PLEASE help and advice me on what I can do? Jazakhallah Khair x
    sammi4ever's Avatar
    sammi4ever Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jun 18, 2012, 04:56 PM
    He is a very sensible person. He could have found someone else but he chose you and became a greater person so he can ask for your hand in marriage.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #3

    Jun 18, 2012, 06:32 PM
    Salaam!

    First of all, Alhamdulillah!! You found your way back to your deen and practice, and I am so happy for you!

    Ideally, it is best to trust your parents in these matters.
    However, there are many schools of thought that there are exceptions to this. And if your parents are being unreasonable, and you know that your marriage to this man would be for good of Allah, and would be good in His eyes, it would be haram for your parents to deny such a match.

    Have your parents given any other reasons they refuse?

    The best advice I can give you, is speak to your Imam. I am sure he would be better able to help you, as he would know you and your family and your situation.

    Assalamu Alaikum!

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