[mylife_mytype]

Hi all. I'm a Hindu girl in relationship with a Muslim boy from past 6 years. Initially we did not plan to marry but with time and increasing compatibility we thought we would be perfect for each other. He has convinced his parents already, but my parents are not at all ready to agree. I have given them all possible reasons. They personally know him and his family.

They are OK with it but their main concern is religion. I cannot even hurt my parents otherwise till now I would have eloped with him. I need help in how I can convince them. Their main concern is his religion and second is the fear of society. Please help guys. We seriously are in love and want to marry.

[smoothy]

H All. I m a hindu girl in relationship with a Muslim boy from past 6 years. Initially we did not plan to marry but with time and increasing compatibilty we thought we would be perfect for each other. He has convinced his parents already, but my parents are not at all ready to agree. I have given dem all possible reasons. They personally know him n his family dey are ok with it but their main concern is religion. I cannot even hurt my parents otherwise till now i wud have eloped with him. I need help in how i can convince them,their main concern is his religion and second is the fear of society. Plz help guys. We seriously are in love and want to marry.

Bad idea... first... he is going to force his religion on you... he will never convert to or accept yours.

And this is going to hurt your parents... and your own self identity.

And if anyone is going to argue religion isn't a big thing... then if that's the case.. he would convert to yours.

[mylife_mytype]

Bad idea...first....he is going to force his religion on you....he will never convert to or accept yours.

And this is going to hurt your parents....and your own self identity.

And if anyone is going to argue religion isn't a big thing.....then if thats the case..he would convert to yours.

He is not asking me to change my religion neither I want him to change his.. Religion is not a concern in both of us.. Its a concern for family.

[smoothy]

He is not asking me to change my religion neither i want him to change his.. Religion is not a concern in both of us..Its a concern for family.

That is now... I've seen many cases where that changed not long after the wedding... and know of very few were it didn't occur. His culture means he is going to be pressured to make you change even if its not his intent now... he will be pushed but others to do it. In fact the very same people that will be pushing him to make you change... will be threatening his life if he decided to be the one that changes to yours.

He may be a very nice guy... but a persons religion is very fundemential to who they are... and I very much am against pressuring or being pressured by anyone to change theirs... by anyone.

Interfaith marriags can sometimes work... but some would be doomed before they should evert start. Some faiths are too intollerant of others for that to happen.

And marriage is hard enough without that problem. Its never as easy as people who are unmarried think it will be.

[mylife_mytype]

That is now...I've seen many cases where that changed not long after the wedding...and know of very few were it didn't occur. His culture means he is going to be pressured to make you change even if its not his intent now....he will be pushed but others to do it. In fact the very same people that will be pushing him to make you change...will be threatening his life if he decided to be the one that changes to yours.

But I don't have any issues to change.

That is now...I've seen many cases where that changed not long after the wedding...and know of very few were it didn't occur. His culture means he is going to be pressured to make you change even if its not his intent now....he will be pushed but others to do it. In fact the very same people that will be pushing him to make you change...will be threatening his life if he decided to be the one that changes to yours.

He may be a very nice guy...but a persons religion is very fundemential to who they are....and I very much am against pressuring or being pressured by anyone to change theirs...by anyone.

Interfaith marriags can sometimes work....but some would be doomed before they sould evert start. Some faiths are too intollerant of others for that to happen.

And marriage is hard enough without that problem. Its never as easy as people who are unmarried think it will be.

My question is to help me on how should I convince my parents. I have taken a decision of marrying him after a long thought. Its not a decision taken out of blind love.

[smoothy]

My question is to help me on how shud i convince my parents. I have taken a decision of marrying him after a long thought. Its not a decision taken out of blind love.

You don't... They have their beliefs and they aren't going to change... they have them for very good reasons. And have the benefit of life experience backing them up.

But i dont have any issues to change.

And that is showing me you aren't thinking clearly because you throw your beliefs away for another person who isn't willing to do the same for you.. A faith is a deeply personal thing.. and you don't discard it like garbage for a another human.

Don't understand what I'm saying... ask him to convert to a different religion neither of you have right now... Be it Bhudism... Bahai... Christianity, Judaism... or some other, I'm willing to bet he gets nasty about it and refuses.

[anthonyrichardc]

I agree with smoothy. From what I know (some of my friends are Muslims), Muslims treat girls very badly. They don't respect females at all (it is their religious tradition to look down upon females). So if you really decide to go ahead be prepared to face that - you have to dedicate all you life to someone who does not respect you at all and treat you unfairly.

IN SHORT, I advise you to listen to your parents. But the final decision is up to you, you have your freedom of choice.

[C0bra_M3nace]

Anthony, you are sadly mistaken, and I wish you wouldn't have been on such a topic that could offend others.

Muslims follow the religion of Islam. A man of Islam may have up to 4 wife's if he can treat them all equally. None of which implies that they "disrespect" or treat them "badly". I find that accusation to be quite dark and shallow. I know my fair share of Muslims as well, and not one of them to my knowledge, treats their woman "badly".

Don't get me wrong, some men may treat woman disrespectfully, but take a look closer to home. A lot of woman are treated disrespectfully, woman are abused everywhere, NOT only in the Islam religion.

[anthonyrichardc]

anthony, you are sadly mistaken, and I wish you wouldn't have been on such a topic that could offend others.

Muslims follow the religion of Islam. A man of Islam may have up to 4 wifes if he can treat them all equally. None of which implies that they "disrespect" or treat them "badly". I find that accusation to be quite dark and shallow. I know my fair share of Muslims aswell, and not one of them to my knowledge, treats their woman "badly".

Don't get me wrong, some men may treat woman disrespectfully, but take a look closer to home. A lot of woman are treated disrespectfully, woman are abused everywhere, NOT only in the Islam religion.

First of all my humble apologies if I have unintentionally offended anyone.
Secondly, what I just said is what the Muslims themselves told me - and they have solid grounds to prove it. Those who told me, in particular, are females who were born to Muslim families.
Thirdly, I am obviously NOT racist at all as some of my best friends are Muslims. Also, the term "racism" isn't appropriate here since Islam is a religion, not an ethnic group..
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying Muslim is not good, the religion itself is good and it teaches people to be good, but how the majority of people utilise it is another matter.

For your information, the following is Islam's view of women and wife-beating:

Wife Beating In Islam

Just consider that in the context of modern society's gender equality and protection of females. Yes, females are also abused by people without faith, but they are punished by laws and not supported by doctrines.

Regards.

[C0bra_M3nace]

First of all my humble apologies if I have unintentionally offended anyone.
Secondly, what I just said is what the Muslims themselves told me - and they have solid grounds to prove it. Those who told me, in particular, are females who were born to Muslim families.
Thirdly, I am obviously NOT racist at all as some of my best friends are Muslims. Also, the term "racism" isn't appropriate here since Islam is a religion, not an ethnic group..
Dont get me wrong, I am not saying Muslim is not good, the religion itself is good and it teaches people to be good, but how the majority of people utilise it is another matter.

For your information, the following is Islam's view of women and wife-beating:

Wife Beating In Islam

Just consider that in the context of modern society's gender equality and protection of females. Yes, females are also abused by people without faith, but they are punished by laws and not supported by doctrines.

Regards.

My apologies, I did use the term "rascism", that was my mistake.

From what I understood, you were scrutinizing the religion as a whole, because not all use it in that way, I do agree with you however, I just wanted to prove my point that not all act in that manner.

[anthonyrichardc]

My appologies, I did use the term "rascism", that was my mistake.

From what I understood, you were scrutinizing the religion as a whole, because not all use it in that way, I do agree with you however, I just wanted to prove my point that not all act in that manner.

No prob. I was not offended anyway. Glad to see your reply.

[talaniman]

Why can you not honor both your religions and raise your children in both? Many diverse, and multicultural families have chosen this route of marriage with good results. Well maybe the families are upset for a while, but over time they accept that their grand children are healthy, happy, and available to them.

It think its up to the two of you to set the rules for your life together that is both fair, and benefits you both, as us parents seldom agree with our children 100%, but we do adjust over time. If not, we turn our backs on our own, and that's a pretty reckless position to take.

You make your own choices, let your parents make theirs.

[anthonyrichardc]

Why can you not honor both your religions and raise your children in both? Many diverse, and multicultural families have chosen this route of marriage with good results. Well maybe the families are upset for a while, but over time they accept that their grand children are healthy, happy, and available to them.

It think its up to the two of you to set the rules for your life together that is both fair, and benefits you both, as us parents seldom agree with our children 100%, but we do adjust over time. If not, we turn our backs on our own, and thats a pretty reckless position to take.

You make your own choices, let your parents make theirs.

VERY GOOD advice.

But both sides do need extra leniency and open-mindedness to make it work and make up for the cultural differences occurring on a daily basis. It all depends on how you treat each other, and no any single one person in the world is the same.

"Many diverse, and multicultural families have chosen this route of marriage with good results." Very true.

[JudyKayTee]

I agree with smoothy. From what I know (some of my friends are Muslims), Muslims treat girls very badly. They dont respect females at all (it is their religious tradition to look down upon females). So if you really decide to go ahead be prepared to face that - you have to dedicate all you life to someone who does not respect you at all and treat you unfairly.

IN SHORT, I advise you to listen to your parents. But the final decision is up to you, you have your freedom of choice.

This would be no less offensive if you substitute ANY group in the place of the word "Muslims." They don't respect females and this what your friends told you?

How odd that this response would appear on the "inter religion marriage problem" thread. This answer sums up the problem.

What does "extra leniency" have to do with anything? Leniency in a marriage? Not understanding but leniency?

[anthonyrichardc]

What does "extra leniency" have to do with anything? Leniency in a marriage? Not understanding but leniency?

Perhaps I should have used the word "acceptance" or "understanding"...

The following highlights the real problems that could potentially ruin the marriage, some written by people with first-hand experience. What I am trying to say is, there ARE certain reasons behind the OP's parents' disapproval of the marriage.

http://www.faithfreedom.org/articles...ying-a-muslim/

http://muslim.families.com/blog/non-...y-a-muslim-man

http://www.jihadwatch.org/2006/05/fj...ine-print.html

Hope that helps to clear up the matter.

Maybe my wording was somewhat offensive to some, but I have NO intention to be offensive.

Please feel free to correct me.

[talaniman]

Half of all marriages fail in the US, and most of them are Christians for the same reasons you cited for Muslims. Crazy unhealthy people make dysfunctional relationships/marriages regardless of religion.

[JudyKayTee]

Perhaps I should have used the word "acceptance" or "understanding"...

The following highlights the real problems that could potentially ruin the marriage, some written by people with first-hand experience. What I am trying to say is, there ARE certain reasons behind the OP's parents' disapproval of the marriage.

Problems Faced When Marrying A Muslim | FaithFreedom.org

Non-Muslim Woman: Should You Marry a Muslim Man? - Muslim - Families.com

Fjordman: Marrying a Muslim Man? Read the Fine Print - Jihad Watch

Hope that helps to clear up the matter.

Maybe my wording was somewhat offensive to some, but I have NO intention to be offensive.

Please feel free to correct me.

Your info is only as correct and unbiased as the people who wrote it. I looked at one. So much for the correct and unbiased.

What is YOUR experience with interfaith marriage, your PERSONAL experience. For that matter, what is your personal experience with marriage? What is your personal experience with Muslims?

[anthonyrichardc]

Perhaps I should change my first post in this thread to the following (doesn't seem I can edit it on a mobile):

While the final decision is up to you, I DO believe that your parents have substantial reasons to discourage you from making that decision. Also, you should familiar yourself with the Muslims view of women. The following is for your reference. It is important to think carefully before you make this crucial decision that could have an lasting impact on the rest of your life.

One of the following articles is written by a Hindu girl who married a Muslim guy.

Problems Faced When Marrying A Muslim | FaithFreedom.org

Non-Muslim Woman: Should You Marry a Muslim Man? - Muslim - Families.com

Fjordman: Marrying a Muslim Man? Read the Fine Print - Jihad Watch


Thanks to those who said my first post was offensive, so that I can learn how to properly express myself in the future.

[JudyKayTee]

Are you reading the responses or simply posting over and over.

Please answer the questions I asked.

[anthonyrichardc]

Your info is only as correct and unbiased as the people who wrote it. I looked at one. So much for the correct and unbiased.

What is YOUR experience with interfaith marriage, your PERSONAL experience. For that matter, what is your personal experience with marriage? What is your personal experience with Muslims?

Well, all I wanted to express is to tell the OP that her parents are reasonable to disapprove the marriage, adding some facts to show that this kind of relationship in particular may not end well.

But now this somehow started to become kind of like a debate over a few statements. I am not going to join in the controversy. But I am sorry for offending some of the readers and I would be more careful with my wording in the future.