[want2check]

My boyfriend loves me a lot and want to marry me. He is very sensitive and caring person. He is not rude or abusive. But I think nowadays he started taking me for granted.

Whenever he faces any tension (personal, official), I feel like its mine and I always try to console him and try to make him feel better. Always means always. But when I get angry or I cry because of him, he just kind of ignore me, means he waits till the time I come out of that emotional phase and behave normal.

Exactly he won't ignore me, he will try asking for few times, what happened and I say nothing, leave it. But then he will behave normal as if nothing has happened, and he expects me to be normal after few hours, or days. I think he takes it too lightly. When I message him some emotional messages he won't reply. And next day he just says, "there was no point in replying to you back as you were not in position to listen so I kept quiet.".

I am very emotional person and I feel he is just used to to it. He knows even if cry or do anything, I will talk. If he gets emotionally upset cause of me. I just can imagine he being upset cause of me, and I can't take emotional messages from him. I just feels bad, but this is not the case with him, and when I told him he got angry on me as he felt I was doubting his feelings toward me.

I don't know if I am thinking wrong.

[C0bra_M3nace]

Now it's hard to unserstand, but it sounds to me like you're way too emotional for him. It's almost as if he's bored, or annoyed of your emotional state and just tunes it out. Which is basically what you're doing again by asking this question. I would say talk to him about it, but I think it's too late, once you get emotional and start asking him why he's ignoring you, he's probably just going to tune you out yet again. Sorry sweetheart, but until you jump off the emotional train, and calm down a bit I don't think this problem is repairable, unless you just leave, because you guys are no good for each other from the sounds of it.

[want2check]

Thank you very much for the answer.

One last question...

After the recent fight he got upset... I said sorry to him for hurting him and he got normal.
What does it indicate?

[Fr_Chuck]

He as many men don't have feelings like you do, he notices something is wrong, he asks you want is wrong, So you have the choice to tell him, when you tell him nothing, he believes you. Why should he know you are lying and why are you lying. He wants to know and cares, but you will not share with him.

When you don't share, he trusts it is OK.

So why not tell him what is wrong and share with him

[Wondergirl]

Men aren't usually emotional like women are. Women cry and vent; men only want to fix the problem so you can move forward. I think he sees that you like to be emotional and don't want the problem fixed, so he stays out of it until such time that you will finally let him fix it or just move forward on your own.

In other words, you two have totally different coping styles. You get emotional over and over again but don't fix the problem. He fixes (or wants to fix) the problem without being emotional.

[want2check]

Thanks for all replies...
I accpet I get imotional and cry and he not being imotional want to fix the problem. Also he trust me so when I say nothing he trust me.

Just a thought if the person you love is upset and he/she is teling you anything but you can see there is smthing wrong but you trust the words and leave it... then what is the difference between colleague in office or neighbour and your loved one with whom you want to share your life.

And one more thing he is more imotional than me... he is very possessive person. Its not that he is not imotional and I expect him to cry with me...

When I complaint about one small thing he got upset and then I felt bad and when I said srry for hurting him he again got fine...

I do not want to protect myself... may be 100% my thinking is wrong but whatever thoughts I am having I am just sharing it...

[Wondergirl]

Just a thought if the person you love is upset and he/she is teling you anything but you can see there is smthing wrong but you trust the words and leave it... then what is the difference between colleague in office or neighbour and your loved one with whom you want to share your life.

You always must be honest for anyone--lover, friend, neighbor--and say one of two things, "I do not want this fixed. I am just venting so let me be emotional for a while" or "This is what must be fixed. Please fix it for me."

And one more thing he is more imotional than me... he is very possessive person. Its not that he is not imotional and I expect him to cry with me...

Being possessive is not an emotional characteristic. It is something else. How is he possessive?

[talaniman]

Stop frustrating him, and yourself by being so emotional that you need him to be emotional too. Guys can read minds, they need words that tells them what on your mind, and what you expect. WORDS, not feelings.

Hell if we can barely deal with our own feelings, how the freak do we deal with yours?? Find the words he understands, before you get all emotional, and he has to stand there helpless waiting for you to be normal.

How old are you both and how long have you been together? Do you live together?

What's this controlling thing you speak of?

[want2check]

Thanks... may be I need to improve... I will try.