[daniigirl]

I'm 18 and for the most part have always really rather enjoyed sex when I find the right partner. When we first got together we would have sex 2-3 times a night. I am pregnant now, which really doesn't come too much of a surprise. There were some issues when I found out I was pregnant, and the intimacy of our relationship was gone for awhile until he was able to wrap his mind around the fact that he was going to be a father, that being said, we've come a long way since then, he looks forward to it and with each passing day becomes more and more of a participant in my pregnancy. My hormones are all over the place, but really I want to have sex a significant amount more than he does, and I don't understand why he doesn't seem to be interested in doing the deed as much as I do(I've never had this problem with anyone before in the past). I know with me being pregnant, that can turn some men off, but I am very tiny for being 5&1/2 months, I'm hardly even showing. We used to have sex quite a bit, now we average 3 times a week. I understand in some relationships this is even a lot, but I'm a very horny woman and I just don't understand, I highly doubt he's cheating on me, he works 30 hours a week, and I am with him the majority of the week. Mostly it just makes me feel entirely unattractive and unsexy.

[smoothy]

I'm 18 and for the most part have always really rather enjoyed sex when i find the right partner. When we first got together we would have sex 2-3 times a night. I am pregnant now, which really doesn't come to much of a surprise. There were some issues when i found out i was pregnant, and the intimacy of our relationship was gone for awhile until he was able to wrap his mind around the fact that he was going to be a father, that being said, we've come a long way since then, he looks forward to it and with each passing day becomes more and more of a participant in my pregnancy. My hormones are all over the place, but really i want to have sex a significant amount more than he does, and i don't understand why he doesn't seem to be interested in doing the deed as much as i do(I've never had this problem with anyone before in the past). I know with me being pregnant, that can turn some men off, but i am very tiny for being 5&1/2 months, i'm hardly even showing. We used to have sex quite a bit, now we average 3 times a week. I understand in some relationships this is even a lot, but i'm a very horny woman and i just don't understand, i highly doubt he's cheating on me, he works 30 hours a week, and i am with him the majority of the week. Mostly it just makes me feel entirely unattractive and unsexy.

Welcome to the real world... obviously you see how peoples drive don't always sync up... usually it's the other way around.. with the woman who's drive is the lower one. When that happens the usual advice is for him to reacquaint himself with Rosey Palmer and her four sisters... you might have to do much the same thing.

Stress has an effect on a guys drive... and obviously the reality of being a dad is hitting him.

You never mentioned it yet... but is he even planning on marrying you or is he leaving his options open to jump ship when the time is right? Particularly since he's only got a part time job... and he isn't going to be able to support three people on it.

I'm guessing this really isn't about you... but the fact of reality smacking him upside his head in ways he wasn't ready for.

[CravenMorhead]

How long where you two together before you got pregnant?

If it was really quick then it is kind of explainable. Why was there no Birth Control?

He is probably in shell shock. This probably was highly unexpected and he isn't sure how to react. There is also the stigma of being pregnant. Kind of the "don't touch or bad things might happen to the baby" thing. What will happen when he spunks in you? OR you get off. There are a lot of scary things that could happen.

Cut him some slack and run with it. Maybe get a Battery Operated Boyfriend. Wink wink.

[daniigirl]

We weren't together for that long prior to me becoming pregnant, honestly. He hasn't seemed to really be one to care about sleeping with me because I'm pregnant, he's never worried too much about hurting the baby. I was on birth control, the contraceptive I was on, my doctor had told me was just as effective as the pill, turns out it wasn't, only 92% effective. We typically used condoms as well, however the night of conception we did not. He still finishes inside of me even with me being pregnant, there was one time, however, he tried to make the sex more exciting and I started bleeding, had to go to the doctors, etc. Everything was proven to be okay, but we had to settle down on the sex for the time being. I don't know if he's afraid of something like that happening again? I seldom get him to talk to me about it, he finds sexual conversations a tad bit uncomfortable. I am seriously considering getting a vibrator, I brought the idea up to him some time ago because he doesn't seem to really be able to keep up with me at this point, but he seemed a bit intimidated by some of the ones I looked at. Keep in mind, I'm a very tiny woman, and I was only interested in getting ones that were average in length and not any thicker than he is. I don't view my boyfriend to be small, quite honestly I don't view him to be small at all, but I know he's got some self esteem issues. I just don't know what to do, lately it seems he's more interested in video games than having sex and it's really bumming me out.

[CravenMorhead]

That does add a little background. His life has gone warp speed and I think he is trying to deal with all this. He's suddenly going to be a father.

The incident where you bled probably didn't help either. He is probably afraid of hurting you a bit. It is hard to say. Though maybe you should have been more ginger saying that he can't keep up being the reason why you need the dildo. That is a huge shot to the ego, even if it is true.

What does he do for work? How are you planning on supporting the child once it comes? It could be that he is starting ot get concerned about supporting a family and that would kill anyone's libido.

[smoothy]

We weren't together for that long prior to me becoming pregnant, honestly. He hasn't seemed to really be one to care about sleeping with me because i'm pregnant, he's never worried too much about hurting the baby. I was on birth control, the contraceptive i was on, my doctor had told me was just as effective as the pill, turns out it wasn't, only 92% effective. We typically used condoms as well, however the night of conception we did not. He still finishes inside of me even with me being pregnant, there was one time, however, he tried to make the sex more exciting and i started bleeding, had to go to the doctors, etc. Everything was proven to be okay, but we had to settle down on the sex for the time being. I don't know if he's afraid of something like that happening again? I seldom get him to talk to me about it, he finds sexual conversations a tad bit uncomfortable. I am seriously considering getting a vibrator, i brought the idea up to him some time ago because he doesn't seem to really be able to keep up with me at this point, but he seemed a bit intimidated by some of the ones i looked at. Keep in mind, i'm a very tiny woman, and i was only interested in getting ones that were average in length and not any thicker than he is. I don't view my boyfriend to be small, quite honestly i don't view him to be small at all, but i know he's got some self esteem issues. I just don't know what to do, lately it seems he's more interested in video games than having sex and it's really bumming me out.

Oh come now... get one of the really big ones... you know what I'm talking about... if only to drag out after a fight... :-)

[daniigirl]

That does add a little background. His life has gone warp speed and I think he is trying to deal with all this. He's suddenly going to be a father.

The incident where you bled probably didn't help either. He is probably afraid of hurting you a bit. It is hard to say. Though maybe you should have been more ginger saying that he can't keep up being the reason why you need the dildo. That is a huge shot to the ego, even if it is true.

What does he do for work? how are you planning on supporting the child once it comes? It could be that he is starting ot get concerned about supporting a family and that would kill anyone's libido.

I would never say to him that was the reason for me wanting one, when I brought it up, I brought it up as something I was interesting in trying in the bedroom with him. He works at a nearby restaurant, I work part time, I plan on going to school full time once the baby is here and trying to jump start that so I can get into a career quicker.

[smoothy]

Don't expect to be making much right out of college... because you aren't likely to... the real education only starts after you graduate and when you start working... plus with a new kid you've got issues and expenses you haven't even thought of yet...

[daniigirl]

Don't expect to be making much right out of college...because you aren't likely to....the real education only starts after you graduate and when you start working....plus with a new kid you've got issues and expenses you haven't even thought of yet...

I don't expect college to be an instant 'fix it' for the obvious financial issues that lie ahead for the both of us, but I do expect it to make the difference between a minimum wage dead end job and a career.

[smoothy]

I don't expect college to be an instant 'fix it' for the obvious financial issues that lie ahead for the both of us, but i do expect it to make the difference between a minimum wage dead end job and a career.

Good... you have realistic expectations (I'm paying you a compliment there)... unlike a lot of people that are in college that think they are going to make big bucks right out of school. It took me over 15 years out of college before I was making what I considered decent money. 25 years before I made what I consider a comfortable living... and there isn't a recent college graduate out there that's capable of doing even 5% of the various tasks I am responsible for every day. It takes a LOT of experience in a number of disiplines that takes a lot of years in the right jobs to gain as an example.

Have you looked into how much child care is going to cost you per day yet? Assuming you both are working? You might be in for a shock. Most employers do not provide day care... and that's before diapers... formula.. etc... around here you are going to pay $250 a week per child at a day care center... or more.

[JudyKayTee]

I'm a little concerned about two statements - the boyfriend still "finishes inside" the OP, even though she's pregnant. I don't find that to be unusual.

And then there's "however, he tried to make the sex more exciting and i started bleeding" - what? Rough sex that causes bleeding, particularly when a woman is pregnant?

I wonder about the level of maturity - and knowledge - here.

[CravenMorhead]

I'm a little concerned about two statements - the boyfriend still "finishes inside" the OP, even though she's pregnant. I don't find that to be unusual.

And then there's "however, he tried to make the sex more exciting and i started bleeding" - what? Rough sex that causes bleeding, particularly when a woman is pregnant?

I wonder about the level of maturity - and knowledge - here.

I do too to be honest, but everyone lives their own lives.

He's working in a nearby restaurant. That's going to cover the bills while you're dealing with the new kid? And going to college. I admire your drive. I am afraid that this might be a little too ambitious and I am thinking that is what your boyfriend believes as well.

He's going ot be the sole supporter of you and your child on a wage of a restaurant worker. It is doable but it could be very stressful. Don't be surprised if his libido gets low.

[daniigirl]

Good....you have realistic expectations (I'm paying you a compliment there)....unlike a lot of people that are in college that think they are going to make big bucks right out of school. It took me over 15 years out of college before I was making what I considered decent money. 25 years before I made what I consider a comfortable living...and there isn't a recent college graduate out there thats capible of doing even 5% of the various tasks I am responsible for every day. It takes a LOT of experience in a number of disiplines that takes a lot of years in the right jobs to gain as an example.

Have you looked into how much child care is going to cost you per day yet? Assuming you both are working? You might be in for a shock. Most employers do not provide day care.....and thats before diapers...formula..etc..... around here you are going to pay $250 a week per child at a day care center......or more.

The community colleges near me offer daycare, in most likely going to try to take as many of gen eds as I can online so I can stay home with the baby as much as possible, once he's of age, I plan on getting him into the daycare on campus while I'm in class, they have a low income program I should qualify for no problem. Its going to be hard, it already is financially between the two of us, but we will make it work somehow I'm sure.

[Alty]

I didn't read all the other posts, so I don't know if this has been mentioned already. If it has, please forgive me.

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, but it's also something that not only makes you bigger, more uncomfortable, but also, sadly, less attractive.

Some men find pregnant women to be extremely sexy. Others, and they're the majority, do not. The thought of sex with a pregnancy women bother them.

As soon as I started showing with my pregnancies, my husband didn't want to have sex. With my first pregnancy that was fine, because I really didn't want anyone touching me, or seeing me naked, or doing anything at all. I didn't even want to be hugged or kissed, so that worked out for us.

With my second pregnancy, for some reason I was hornier than usual. In fact, I wanted sex all the time. At first, before I started to show, that was fine for hubby. But as soon as he saw the belly start to grow, he wasn't interested.

He still loved me, but to him it felt wrong. Even though he knows that sex during a normal pregnancy is okay, and even though I was all over him, he just couldn't. To him it felt like having sex in front of a child, even though the baby would never be aware of it. It made no sense, but the way we feel about things often doesn't make sense.

My guess would be that he's afraid to hurt you. Since the incident where you bled and had to go to the hospital, he probably feels that you're fragile, and wants to protect you and the baby.

Trust me, if you two stay together, you'll have plenty of sex after the baby is born. But, unless you want another child shortly after, I would really suggest getting on a reliable form of birth control to lower the odds.

Good luck.