[desertrose19]

I am 32 years of age and my boyfriend is 31. We have been together for 1 yr now. He is a very nice guy and loves me but there are certain traits and behaviour about him that sends me confusing signals.
He lives by himself and has a good job. His job is stressful and takes a lot of his time. We meet 2 times a week and once on weekends. He meets his folks on every weekend and also spends around 7 hrs on video games with his frens.He also plays for 2 bands. Music is his passion.

About me,I have however quit my job and am jobless at the moment. However, I ensure I do not pile up on him.I drive to his place and we spend around 3 hrs on weekdays that we meet because we live around 30 minutes (drive) away and lots of traffic builds up if he comes to meet me. I live with my folks .

However the issue is, he loves his space a lit lot more than a normal person does. He does not prefer spending a whole day of his weekend with me because it stops him from doing other things he wants to do.Thereby even on weekends he squeezes like 3-4 hrs for me.
The 2 bands that he plays for generally have a gig once in 2 months. So the practice takes a lot of his time. Thereby we meet whenever he is free. So I feel like Im squeezed in between his schdule. Which I feel is not fair for me. If at all on weekends he is free and we have not made prior plans he makes plans with his friend to play video games and if I insist on meeting he will never cancel his prior plans. Thereby I need to book slots with him. Or its generally his family gathering on weekends. Or his band practice on Sat's. We speak once a day. I receive his message once if I'm lucky during the day or its none. Im a phone person but have adjusted to this and it does not bother me now.

So far in 12 months we have never spend like proper quality time.
I have spoken to him. He always says he will try but it's the same thing. I feel like I keep on asking him to make time for me. I wonder why he does not feel the need?
He feels I'm the one in his life getting the most of his time amongst his friends and family.
Is it that he is enjoying his freedom and is not ready for a committed relationship.
We have even discussed marriage sometime early nxt year.
But Im so confused.
Im not getting the time I need with him and he will never leave his bands.
How can I get time with him with his work, bands, family and video games.
Ive spoken to him and still feel the same...

I know deep within Im not happy.
But other wise he is a gem of a guy...

Anyhelpful Advice??

[Homegirl 50]

It sounds like your lifestyles are not compatible and he is not willing to compromise. It seems a bit one sided to me.
If you are unhappy it does not matter how nice he is. He is not the one for you.