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Humor from the Net
Fifty-One Days
A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?" One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!" A Pirate's Tale A pirate was talking to a "land-lubber" in a bar. The land-lubber noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye. The land-lubber just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape. He asked the pirate, "How did you lose your leg?" The pirate responded, "I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!" His new acquaintance was still curious so he asked, "What about you hand. Did you lose it at the same time?" "No," answered the pirate. "I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys." Finally, the land-lubber asked, "I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you lose your eye? The pirate answered, "I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and pooped right in me eye." The land-lubber asked, "How could a little something like that make you lose your eye?" The pirate snapped, "It was the day after I got me hook!" The Verdict The DA stared at the jury, unable to believe the "not guilty" verdict he'd just heard. Bitterly, he asked, "What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?" The foreman answered, "Insanity." The attorney responded, still incredulous, "I could understand that. But, all twelve of you?" If a bear in Yosemite, and one in Alaska fall... Q. If a bear in Yosemite, and one in Alaska fall into water, which one would dissolve faster? A. The bear in Alaska because it's polar. |
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