[camoflagedude37]

My wife and I have been married since Nov. so our marriage is still very new but lately she's been talking to her ex-boyfriend a lot. We spend all our time together, since we both moved away from our families back home to live in California both being in the military. She recently went home on leave to Ohio (her home state) to visit her family and I had to stay here due to work and my ability to also take leave.

Since she's been home she has been acting weird and I finally confronted her on the subject and she admitted that she was having feelings come up for her ex boyfriend again and that she was torn between the two of us. Now I know our marriage is still young, but to move away from her town with me and then get married to me I thought was a stone cold commitment in its self. But now she goes home without me around and meets up with her ex and all of a sudden she's been torn between us.

We have done so many things together since we've been together, even before we got married and have had such great times; it seems hard to believe she could have this happen so easily .Although lately we have been fighting a lot, as the 1st year of marriage is always the toughest. But now she goes home and meets up with this ex she hasn't seen in so long and it just blows my mind that she could so easily be torn between her HUSBAND and an ex boyfriend.

Am I crazy to think this? And what should I do? She keeps telling me she's sorry and she can't help her feelings and she just needs time to work things out but I can't believe I'm even being put in this situation. It makes me question if our marriage was a mistake if her feelings are so easily persuaded by and ex. Is this something that I can try and fix or is this just too big of a red flag and I need to get out of this relationship? I love her so much and I'd do anything to save us but I don't want to waste my time trying to save something that's irreversible. What do I do?

[talaniman]

There is a big difference between feelings, and actions. We can all have feelings, for exes and others, but we don't have to act on them in ways that cross the lines of good behavior.

I mean even after a 50 year class reunion, old feelings can be stirred up for some times afterward. That's human guy, and acknowledge that she was honest enough to tell you. Give her time to adjust and let the dust settle and don't get so emotional, or carried away by your own fears, insecurities, or disapointments.

Hell, unless she slept with him, I wouldn't give this a second thought. Sometimes our own thoughts, and feeling are the problem, and our own worst enemy.