Check out some similar questions!

confusedmann · May 10, 2012, 05:02 AM

My girlfriend had a one month affair with one of her friends while they were both working abroad. She kept skyping and acting as everything was OK, but I felt it. The first day we met I forced it out of her mouth and she decided to break up with. She had hopes being with the other guy, but he ended up not leaving his girlfriend for her. She called me up again was hinting about coming back to me. She was really confused. We decided to meet up in aftee 10 days, but then she called again and tild me that she does not love me anymore just because she loves him? I was gentle all along but she really kept on hurting me over and over and I really cannot take her out of my mind. Not sure what to do! Is that thing just a fling? Or should I start thinking of moving on? I believe I am still willing to forgive her, but I am convinced that it is best to let it go.

Boddy91 · May 10, 2012, 05:12 AM

If you are willing to forgive her, then it might be worth while that you both meet up for a coffee and discuss your options. However, she has said she doesn't love you and was hoping to go with the other guy, therefore making me think she isn't worth the hassle and the upset!

I have experienced something like this, I chose to move on and I found a better boyfriend, it was almost like getting an upgrade! I know you hurt at the moment, but whilst she was away, she couldn't stay faithful, so what's stopping it from happening again in the future if you chose to take her back.

You need to have a think about what is best for you and what will make you happy and feels right because it is your life and your feelings that are at risk.

confusedmann · May 10, 2012, 05:22 AM

Originally Posted by Boddy91

If you are willing to forgive her, then it might be worth while that you both meet up for a coffee and discuss your options. However, she has said she doesn't love you and was hoping to go with the other guy, therefore making me think she isn't worth the hassle and the upset!

I have experienced something like this, I chose to move on and I found a better boyfriend, it was almost like getting an upgrade! I know you hurt at the moment, but whilst she was away, she couldn't stay faithful, so whats stopping it from happening again in the future if you chose to take her back.

You need to have a think about what is best for you and what will make you happy and feels right because it is your life and your feelings that are at risk.

Thanks for the quick reply!
I still do love her and she knows that I am willing to forgive her! But it seems to me that she is not willing to forgive herself! We have been together for almost three years now, and we were totally in love with each other until she started the affair with guy... she just told me about it last week, and there is still some hope in me that she is just confused about her feelings for him... since they see each other daily now at work. She is moving to another city in a two weeks!
I wanted to meet with her for coffee next week, and she agreed, then retreated again!
Maybe it is best to move on... but damn it hurts

Boddy91 · May 10, 2012, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by confusedmann

Thanks for the quick reply!
I still do love her and she knows that I am willing to forgive her! but it seems to me that she is not willing to forgive herself! We have been together for almost three years now, and we were totally in love with each other until she started the affair with guy...she just told me about it last week, and there is still some hope in me that she is just confused about her feelings for him...since they see each other daily now at work. She is moving to another city in a two weeks!
I wanted to meet with her for coffee next week, and she agreed, then retreated again!
Maybe it is best to move on....but damn it hurts

I know it hurts for now, but you have to think about yourself! After a 3 year relationship it will be difficult to get over her, but if you have the right mind set and support, you can do it! Personally I would try my best and move on. If you really feel there is a glimmer of hope, I would speak to her. Tell her that it is human to feel ashamed of what she did, try speaking rationally so you can get the best out of each other. If you speak over the phone or internet, it can easily escalate and turn nasty! You want to take steps forward, even if they are baby ones :). I do hope you sort everything out, whatever way it goes. Good luck!