[jessethezombie]

Right, I don't really know where to begin... but here it goes.

I've been with my girlfriend now for nearly 7 months. I'm 22 and she's 20. I have a full time job in a cinema as a technical manager and she's in uni. We're not that far away from each other when she's at uni, only a train ride away. And when she's home its like an hours walk. That's it. So, we've been great together, amazing in fact. We get along great, her family and friends love me and vise versa. We're like a team.

When ever we're out and about, I'm always treating her to meals etc and nice things. In all fairness she drives us about, so this is my way of paying her for petrol. When ever we're thinking of stuff to do, I always say "i'm happy with what ever you wanna do". I've taken her to see her favourite band. I spoilt her rotton on valentines day and I've got us tickets to go and see the lion king on stage in August.

She's told me time and time again how much she loves me, how cute I am, how I'm the best boyfriend every. And the same goes for her, I've never been this happy before in my entire life. She's changed me as a person, she really has.

Now, she has warned me that her course in uni is going to get harder next year and that we might not be able to see each other as much as we do now. Which is fine by me, I'm in the middle of learning to drive and I've said to her time and time again, when I pass I'll be willing to drive up to see her when ever she's free. So she doesn't have to worry about coming down here all the time. I'm willing to make 100% of the effort.

So, on to the point. She came over my house recently (5th may 2012) and said that we need to talk. Me being me, I joked around and said "you breaking up with me" she replied with "yeah....". Instatnly I started crying asking her why, what have I done etc. she replied with "I dont think that we're going to last that long when I start my third year in uni". (shes doing criminology in uni). So I started saying to her what I just said to you guys, I'm OK with it and I'll be willing to make 100% of the effort. Still, she said she doesn't think that we're going to last. I ended up being 45 minutes for work because of this. After work I phoned her and begged her on the phone to come back over. I managed to get her back over, but she got her mother to bring her over and to wait out side. This was clearly her escape route. But I don't see why? I wasn't going to hold her hostage... I'm not like that.

So we had a quick chat about it, still she wanted to break up over the uni thing. But I really think that we're going to be great together as we get older.and I said this to her. So, I begged and I cried and I managed to get her to go on a two week break. Or untl her exams are over, which is the 18th may. No talking, no texting, no phone calls.

Now, I can deal with the no seeing each other part. But I don't see why we can't speak at least once a week. So on the first two days of this break, I said that to her. Tried messaging her and she completely ignored me. Left her alone on the third day. Found out on the fourth day that my nans going back into hospital again. (shes 94 and really poorly). So I messaged her asking for a pep talk, but it really got me down. Still, she ignored me. Its really getting me down. I'm just scared that she'll fall out of love with me. I really do love her... with all my heart. Don't want anyone else.

So I ended up sending her some roses to say sorry for not leaving her alone. With a message saying "these flowers are to say sorry for not leaving you alone for the first two days. i hope you're ok. once again, good luck with your exams. beast them! i'm here if and when you need me. lots of love. lynn x"

This has really messed me up. I haven't eaten properly in days. I'm not sleeping right. And I'm drinking every night just so I can fall asleep easier. I just don't want to lose her. I really like her family as well. I get on amazing with her mother. I'd really miss them all if we broke up. I've done nothing wrong to deserve this. And it feels like I'm being put through hell for no reason.

So, the reason I've decided to post on here is because my friends are starting to take sides. When there's no need to. I just want some help from neutral party members. That's all.

P.S. sorry for the bad spelling, grammar and puncuation. I'm in work typing this and I don't have time to proof read it etc.

Thanking you all in advance. I look forward to hearing off you all.

Cheers guys!

[joypulv]

I can ONLY take a guess. And it's possible it's wrong, but I'm going by what is common: when one person is in school, they are in constant contact with new people their age every minute. She is interested in someone but won't admit it and isn't even sure; it just has changed her feelings about you. A more remote possibility (to me) is that she really does mean that she has to start hitting the books to prepare for a career. She just doesn't have time for a solid boyfriend, especially one who isn't next door at school. She has friends there too, and they may study together, go out together in groups, even if there isn't one guy. In short, relationships with someone outside of school just don't last very often. This is the reality.
I don't see why you couldn't ask her, maybe in a week or two, if any of this is true, just to ease your mind and help you let go. The fact that she has her mother wait in the car is a sign that she knew it was going to be really hard on both of you.
We all go through this... small consolation, but still some.

[Homegirl 50]

No contact after a breakup is the best way to get over the person. Stop contacting her, start socializing with your friends do other things. It is hard now but it will get better.

[jessethezombie]

Thanks for your replies guys.

joypulv - I don't think she's seeing anyone else. She's been cheated on in the past, as have I. she knows what it feels like. Her ex was seeing another girl behind her back for months during the end of their relationship. I don't think she would do it to me... I hope not.

Homegirl 50 - I know where your coming from. But this isn't like her at all. This actually came out of no where... that's why I'm putting up a fight. I don't mind going on a break. But I want to see her at the end of it. Get some answers. Get my girl back.

[Homegirl 50]

You need to respect her decision regardless. Maybe she has met someone, maybe she just does not feel the same way about you, but you cannot make her feel the way you want her to.
Leave her along. "fighting" for her may very well drive her away.

[jessethezombie]

But this came out of no where? The last thing that she posted on her twitter page was 'my boyfriend is the best ever' followed by a picture of the flowers that I had sent her to wish her luck on her exams. That was only last week. How can you go from that to this? I've actually done nothing wrong for this to happen. What if she's just scared? She wants to meet up at the end of her exams anyway... Do you think I have a chance?

[ldd12]

Unfortunately it does come out of the middle of nowhere when you're on the receiving end, but it could have been something that she had been contemplating for awhile (sorry!). It really is very hurtful when it's hard to understand how it can go from great one week to nothing to next week, without any reason. Sometimes you just don't find out the reason, sometimes she doesn't even know the reason. What is best at this point for you, during this time, is to go into no contact. It won't be easy at first, but it does get easier (I promise) with time, keep yourself busy, surround yourself with family and friends. If she does want to meet up at the end of her exams, she will contact you.

[jessethezombie]

She promised me that we could meet up. So there's no doubts there. She's still got us set in a relationship on FB and she's still got a picture of us as her display picture on twitter. And she's on that everyday. So she could have changed it by now. But she hasn't. She's said that she still loves me. Maybe 'if' we get back together, I should stop messaging her as much as I do now. That will definitely help. Its killing me though. Its always on my mind. No matter what I do. No matter who I'm with. I'm currently in work and I can't stop thinking about it. Its messed up.

[ldd12]

I would stop looking at her Facebook, it's only making the pain worse. You don't need to see pictures of the two of you together or that her relationship status is still set to in a relationship. Sorry to say this, her Facebook world doesn't mean anything to how she is feeling in the real world. Seriously, it's hard, but remove her from your newsfeed and stop messaging her all together (you can do it!). The last thing you want to do is drive her away with your messaging, give her the time and space she needs to miss you and appreciate you. Hopefully when all her exams are finished, she will have a clear mind and will message you to meet up! Keep your mind busy, I know how hard it can be, but find something that can help (exercise really helped me!), maybe help others on this site with what you are going through?

[jessethezombie]

Hmmm, that does sound like a plan to be honest. And that's the best answer I've had so far (out of my my friends anyways) I'm just scared that she will fall out of love. I've done so much for her... It'll kill me if it happens. I just want to hold her again. That's all. My girlfriend. In my arms -_-

[jessethezombie]

Thought I'd update everyone.

I logged onto Facebook today, just to have a nose around and I noticed that my GF had hidden our relationship status. I kind of got upset and messaged her straight away. I didn't mind that she had done it but she could've at least told me that she was going to do it. Anyway... Apart from today, she hasn't messaged me at all. So after waiting for nearly two weeks she's finally given me a date to meet up with her. Next Tuesday 12pm at our local Ice Cream shop.

Wish me luck everyone.

[Homegirl 50]

What are you expecting? All signs indicate she is done with you. I hope you are prepared for that.

[jessethezombie]

Yep. It does look that way. But its not right. Came out of no where and its not needed. Once again, done nothing wrong. Yet I'm being treated like I'm a douche bag... fun times

[jessethezombie]

She said that the reason for her hidding the status was because it was upsetting her every time she saw it... that must mean something?

[Homegirl 50]

yep. it does look that way. but its not right. came out of no where and its not needed. once again, done nothing wrong. yet i'm being treated like i'm a douche bag... fun times

It may not seem right to you and you may have done nothing wrong, but it is the way she feels. She wants to break up, you need to accept that and move on.

[guitar guy 98]

Im in the same situation, but I'm 14 and she's almost 18, we have strong feelings for each other and been together for a month.But she has to make a decision, to move away or stay here, we agreed on living togeher when I'm old enough but she says we might need to break up, I'm not sleeping atall and really scared of losing her, any advice?

[Homegirl 50]

Start your own thread.