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valiena07 · May 9, 2012, 06:56 AM

My husband & I have been married for 4 yrs. And we have 2 children. When we were first married, we had a lot of affection between us, but now there's almost none. He has a lot of stress at work and attribute to how he's been feeling, but lately I feel like its more then that. We used to cuddle, hold hands, normal displays of affection in public. He says things now and then that make me think everything's OK but when I'm alone, all these come back. What makes me think it's me is that he'll just walk up to his sister and hug her, but he doesn't do that with me anymore. I want to know if I'm just over thinking this or if there is there a problem.

Homegirl 50 · May 9, 2012, 07:14 AM

Have you talk to him about this? Do it in a non confrontational way. Regardless if there is problem or not, you are feeling this and he should know. Communication keeps assumptions at a minimum.

valiena07 · May 9, 2012, 07:23 AM

I've thought about asking but I'm afraid to. I'm afraid it will add to his stress and make him think that I'm more comncerned about me then, and that's not true. An he's always been really close to his sister and I don't want things to get weird. I'm just so desperate for things to be better between us that I don't know what to do!

Jassy_Love19 · May 11, 2012, 03:13 AM

Omg I feel the same way my husband use to cuddle me all night we use to hold hands n kiss in public n now he doesn't want to do anything n if he does I feel like he's doing it as a chore. My husband is under a lot of stress at work as well n has to drive far. N I understand that he's under stress but our men need to learn the difference between who the gave there vowes to and work. Were girls we want affection!! But I am so with u n I don't know what to do!

Homegirl 50 · May 11, 2012, 08:44 AM

Communucation is very important in a marriage, If you don't talk about things they just fester and get worse.

Manolo14 · Jun 24, 2012, 07:51 PM

Wow, its amazing to know that the same issues are out there, only that it feels really strange since the comments are coming from the perspective of the wife and the husband not showing affection. And, here I am, the husband feeling the same things as the wives. So, my wife and I met in college, became really good friends- best friends- and since I always dreamed of marrying someone who I can be great friends with I married her. After our second child, about three years ago I noticed subtle changes with her affection. Since the begin I have always been the one who is most affectionate and definitely more active sex drive. In the beginning she was willing and able to be "adventurous" and we got along well in the bedroom. But subtle changes turned into dramatic changes. To the point that she's admitted not "feeling" it anymore, but the caveat is that she says she "still loves me." We have two beautiful daughters so I'm afraid to do something harsh, like leave the house or ask for a divorce. I want to work on our marriage but she appears to preoccupied with her job (the stresses related to the job) and the responsibilities of being a mom. Anyone feel what I'm saying?

If it offers any form of advise to Valiena07 and JassyLove19 most guys want their women to keep it simple, less drama, and less chaos; so taking care of you is the best thing you can do-- give him the space he desires, he'll come back.