[mouse1994]

My husband of 22 years is accusing me of cheating all the time. I have never given him a reason to, but he is convinced that I am. He has been a very jealous person from the start.

We have been living apart due to his job, but are moving together this summer. Now he accused me of having sex with two men and when I ask him of proof, since this absolutely never happened, he just tells me that he knows and was told by friends.

I don't know what to say anymore because he doesn't believe a word I say. It is very frustrating and I hope anybody can give me some advice since this whole situation is giving me sleepless nights. Thanks

[DoulaLC]

I'd ask him why he believes what someone else tells him as opposed to what you tell him? Do you know who these friends are supposed to be? Did he give you any details as to what supposedly happened?

If he can't come up with names and details, then he likely has nothing to go on at all. Do you think that it might possible that he has cheated and his guilt is causing him to accuse you?

Has he ever had any reason not to trust you? If anything happened in the past, it could make it more likely that he will worry about the possibilities, especially since you are living apart for now.

If he refuses to discuss it, then you will have to decide whether the relationship is even something you want to continue in. Since he is so convinced, what does he say about the relationship continuing?

[talaniman]

If he has always been insecure, after 22 years, and getting worse it seems, maybe his job, and the years are wearing on him. There are two strategies that come to mind, as this wears on you also, and that is to nip such notions in the bud, by telling him to shut up and hang up, or take it as a sign of love and worry and flower him with compliments of him missing you. He won't expect the latter.