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jhender114 · May 2, 2012, 04:31 PM

I have custody of my 8yr old son and his father has every other weekend visits. The visits are to be supervised by his girlfriend because of the father having drug charges for selling pills to an undercover informant. The custody agreement says that if the home becomes unstable that the child doesn't have to have any over night visits just Saturday from 10am-6pm. My son has no rules or discipline while at his fathers his dad tries to be his best friend and lets him do and say whatever he wants and doesn't discipline him by any means the girlfriend tries to step up and ground my son if he does wrong and so on but the father tells my son you don't have to listen to her she isn't your momma what I say goes. The father gets into altercations with the girlfriend every time she tries to tell him that my son has done something wrong and he tells her that's my boy he can do what he wants. I have talked to the father about this on a few occasions. Now he refuses to discuss the situation with me. He thinks I just want to keep my son from seeing him which isn't true. I want them to have a relationship I just want his dad to be a man and start teaching him right from wrong and show him that there are consequences to his actions like I try to teach him at my house. But, every things I teach him in a two week period is out the window as soon as he goes there for a weekend. Even my sons teacher knows when he has been to his dads for the weekend because he is wide open and doesn't care how he acts when he gets back to school for the first few days after his visit with dad. If the girlfriend doesn't want the child there and is refussing to supervise the visits any longer can I keep him from going there till I can get this back in court. I am willing to talk to the father about allowing him to have visits every Saturday for 2 hours supervised by myself at our local park. What should I do?

JudyKayTee · May 2, 2012, 04:50 PM

In my State (NY) you need to file an expedited request for a chance in custody. If you can PROVE the requirements of the Order are not being met OR the child is in danger, yes, you can withhold the child - but you need proof.

Only you know how much danger your child is in.

need2ask · May 3, 2012, 05:46 AM

If the judge has ordered that the visits are only to take place when the girlfriend is there to supervise and she no longer wishes to do so, Have her notarize a letter stating that she no longer wishes to be the supervisor. It might also help to have her list the reasons that she is withdrawing her position. Then you can petition the court for a hearing so that the judge can make a final judgment on if your child has to go or not. If you are the custodial parent and it is not a joint or shared parental situation, YOU must do what's in the BEST interest of your child. I am in a situation where we have shared custody. My son's father tried to call CPS on me and it backed fired on him cause she told me that I would be abusing my son if I knew my son was in a harmful situation at his home and did nothing about it! I live in Florida though and I don't know the laws where you are. I do know that it sounds like WE are going through the same things though when it comes to our child. I am here if you want my opinion. : )
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I'm not a lawyer, I'm only telling you what I am going through. You probably should seek legal advise.

JudyKayTee · May 3, 2012, 06:15 AM

Originally Posted by need2ask

If the judge has ordered that the visits are only to take place when the girlfriend is there to supervise and she no longer wishes to do so, Have her notarize a letter stating that she no longer wishes to be the supervisor. It might also help to have her list the reasons that she is withdrawing her position. Then you can petition the court for a hearing so that the judge can make a final judgment on if your child has to go or not. If you are the custodial parent and it is not a joint or shared parental situation, YOU must do whats in the BEST interest of your child. I am in a situation where we have shared custody. My son's father tried to call CPS on me and it backed fired on him cause she told me that I would be abusing my son if I knew my son was in a harmful situation at his home and did nothing about it! I live in Florida though and I don't know the laws where you are. I do know that it sounds like WE are going through the same things though when it comes to our child. I am here if you want my opinion. : )
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I'm not a lawyer, I'm only telling you what I am going through. You probably should seek legal advise.

Yes, she should seek legal advice BUT the girlfriend does not have to cooperate (it would be nice if she would) in order to petition the Court on an emergency basis.

AK lawyer · May 3, 2012, 06:22 AM

Originally Posted by jhender114

... can I keep him from going there till I can get this back in court. ...

If the required supervision is not available, yes.

But you cannot refuse visitiation merely because you disagree with the parenting style used by your son's father. In other words, the court will probably not allow you to micromanage the visitations.