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LovinMeKeria · May 1, 2012, 06:16 PM

I'm 11 dating a 15 year old we have been dating for about 7 months now and he is very sweet and I really like him and we don't have any problems do you think its bad?

joypulv · May 2, 2012, 12:56 AM

What do you mean by dating? A boy and a girl together usually leads to sex, no matter how sweet he is. There's a lot more to sex than just having it. An 11 year old just can't fathom all the problems, and a 15 year old isn't thinking much about all that can go wrong either.

ScottGem · May 2, 2012, 03:00 AM

What about your parents? Do they know and approve? An 11 yr old is really too young to even be dating, let alone a 15 yr old. Don't try to grow up too fast.

LoveTheMusic · May 2, 2012, 09:15 AM

I do not think it's wrong.
I am a strong believer that love knows no bounds. If you really like him, maybe even lovve himm, then it is prfectly fine. My parents have a seven year age gap and have a perfectly fine relationship.
People wouldn't think it was wrong if a 25 year old was dating a 29 year old, its just because you found someone for you a bit earlier in life. Age is just a number. However that does NOT mean that you are ready to have sex. Do not have sex at such a young ge as it can only be harmful at 11 and you are definitely nt ready for any of the outcomes or the dangers. So if he asks you if you want to have sex, SAY NO. If he's a decent human being then he will ccept your descicion.
I really do hope everything goes well with you. :)

Fr_Chuck · May 2, 2012, 10:15 AM

Yes it is far to you to date, you are not old enough mature enough to handle a dating situation.
And I believe if they are allowing this your parents are bad parents and are not doing what is best for you.

LoveThe Music, sounds like you are about 12 and don't understand life either. Sorry at 20 or 30 10 years age difference does not matter as much, at 11 yes age matters a lot

ScottGem · May 2, 2012, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by LoveTheMusic

I do not think it's wrong.
I am a strong believer that love knows no bounds....People wouldn't think it was wrong if a 25 year old was dating a 29 year old,
Age is just a number.

And how old are you?

Yes there is nothing wrong with a 25 yr old dating a 29 yr old. Nor is there anything wrong with a 7 yr gap. WHEN BOTH ARE ADULTS! That is because once we have reached adulthood, we have a solid basis in maturity and experience that we can use to handle romantic relationships. But an 11 yr old is a child, a 15 yr old has developed far beyond an 11 yr old. So the gap is MUCH wider at those ages.

People who say age is just a number are usually trying to justify a relationship they know deep down is wrong.

I do agree with you that love knows no bounds. But the thing you fail to understand is that true feelings of love can only come with maturity and experience. Most 11 yr olds are more involved with the idea of being in love rather than real love.

And you give good advice about not engaging in sex, but what you fail to understand is that someone so young hasn't the maturity to process their feelings. There are too often more focused on pleasing the object of that infatuation then in the consequences of their actions. So young people are more inclined to fall prey to being taken advantage of.

Telling an 11 yr old it is OK to date a 15 yr old is irresponsible. Please cease.

LoveTheMusic · May 2, 2012, 11:27 AM

Look guys, I know that not everyone agrees with my views and that's OK. Just please do not insult my intelligence.
This is a site in which people ask for opinions, and all I did was give my own opinion.
Anyway, how can you believe that as soon as someone becomes an adult they immediately know what love is and what they want in love. When does someone truly become mature? There are many people in their adulthood who are not as mature as some teenagers these days. So just think, can you really say that the second someone stops being 17 and turns 18 they are immediately a different person? Wake up.
And as for how old I am? I don't see how it matters, but I'm 19. I'm an adult. If the spelling mistakes in my first comment mislead you, it's because, at that point, I was typing on an old and semi-broken keyboard. Don't judge before you know someone.

ScottGem · May 2, 2012, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by LoveTheMusic

Look guys, I know that not everyone agrees with my views and thats ok. Just please do not insult my intelligence.
This is a site in which people ask for opinions, and all I did was give my own opinion.
Anyway, how can you believe that as soon as someone becomes an adult they immediately know what love is and what they want in love. When does someone truly become mature? There are many people in their adulthood who are not as mature as some teenagers these days. So just think, can you really say that the second someone stops being 17 and turns 18 they are immediately a different person? Wake up.
And as for how old I am? I don't see how it matters, but I'm 19. I'm an adult. If the spelling mistakes in my first comment mislead you, it's because, at that point, I was typing on an old and semi-broken keyboard. Don't judge before you know someone.

We're not insulting your intelligence, only the validity of your opinions. And, while everyone is entitled to an opinion, opinions can have validity. Yours, at least in this area, don't.

For example, you argue the points I made, not be producing anything to refute those points, but to try and blur them. No I'm not saying that as soon as someone turns 18 they are a different person. But the fact remains that someone who has reached adulthood is much more likely to be prepared to deal with romantic entanglements than someone who is 11. Yes there may even be some 11 yr olds who are more mature than some 18 yr olds. But the odds are very much against that. And since we don't know the 11 yr old, we need to go with the odds. That's why it is irresponsible to encourage someone to engage in such a relationship.

And yes your age does matter, because your opinions are formulated by your age and experience. Come back in 10 or 15 years or when you have an 11 yr old daughter and tell us how much age doesn't matter.

talaniman · May 2, 2012, 02:26 PM

The premise behind the law setting an age for adulthood is that that's when you officially can be held responsible for whatever your actions are and subject to punishment, NOT your parents.

That's why kids come here with these questions because they already know what the parents will say... HELL NO!!

monday56 · May 16, 2012, 05:36 PM

Ok well guys I'm 11 years old 2 and I dated someone for 2 years! Possibly 3 but I follow the rules of my guardians! He even asked if I could french kiss him then have you know what with him then I broke up with him and moved away. And I am about to become 12 years old and well everything is going good. Believe me just ask your parents what they think about you dating a 15 year old if they say no break up for a while. Wait until you are old enough to date him again.(age 13 or 14.) Once you break up with him tell him why he will understand why.

Its not 12:46 where I am! Its 7:39 OK!! I live in Oklahoma!

ScottGem · May 16, 2012, 05:56 PM

You are telling us your parents let you date when you were 9? I suspect we aren't talking about real dating. But, at least you had the knowledge and maturity to know where to draw the line (at french kissing)

Alty · May 16, 2012, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by monday56

Ok well guys im 11 years old 2 and i dated someone for 2 years! possibly 3 but I follow the rules of my guardians! He even asked if I could french kiss him then have you know what with him then i broke up with him and moved away. And I am about to become 12 years old and well everything is going good. Believe me just ask your parents what they think about you dating a 15 year old if they say no break up for a while. Wait until you are old enough to date him again.(age 13 or 14.) Once you break up with him tell him why he will understand why.

its not 12:46 where I am! its 7:39 OK!!!!! I live in Oklahoma!

You started dating when you were 9 years old? I seriously doubt that. Also, you expect us to believe that your parents allowed this? I'm not buying it.

If you're going to lie, at least make it believable. Not one person is going to believe that you started dating at the age of 9 and dated the guy for 3 years.

C0bra_M3nace · May 18, 2012, 12:08 PM

An 11 year old should not be dating are getting into relationships. PERIOD.

My reason? Simple, enjoy your childhood and leave the grown up stuff when you're a grown up. Trust me, go outside, play games with your friend, focus on your school work, because sweetheart, when you blink tomorrow you'll be 18, then once more you'll be 30 and wish you were 11 again.

Take that a run with it kid.

WisperWill70 · May 18, 2012, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by LovinMeKeria

im 11 dating a 15 year old we have been dating for about 7 months now and he is very sweet and i really like him and we dnt have any problems do u think its bad?

Why is an 11 year old :"Dating" at all? This rush to experience sex and love while still a child is so dangerous. And yes -- a 4 year age gap is no problem when you're mature and an adult, but at that stage you're both still kids. (a 15 year old boy is becoming sexually mature while an 11 year old girl is still a child and just starting puberty - Very scary. And the sad thing is these kids move into things without emotional or mental maturity to handle it and don't see what the problem is)

Be careful, don't get pressured into sex or doing things even if all your friends are doing it. At your age --- hang out with lots of people, don't zone in on one person and be safe.

ommi_kosher · May 18, 2012, 03:52 PM

Listen I'm 14 and I have seen lots of cute older guys but I have NEVER hooked up with one of them if I have a boyfriend my mother knows about it even if she doesn't want to your growing up way to fast you need to tell a family members cause if your relation ship gets out of hand and it turns out he wants more than you think... Then what? Maybe you should slow down I hope your not doing anything with him and if you are at least make sure your protected that's not good at all I would never go out with a 17 year old maybe when I'm 16 maybe not until I'm 17 don't think ahead just stay where you are for know be a kid while you can cause when you grow up you'll wish you were back in your glory days I know you don't know me AT ALL but do me a favor and just slow down cause your moving way to fast ;)

monday56 · May 27, 2012, 03:51 PM

Guys well I loved him and I was going to draw the line p.s. I told then sooner on I hate him now and will never hook up with someone else he was my age and well I have a new cruch now. He's cute nice and well he's not with another person I'm about to be 12 too and in 7th grade but with this thing that love knows no bound I know bounds and how to break them but sometimes I don't even tell what's going on in my life I had my period a few days ago and haven't told my parents yet :O

Originally Posted by Alty

You started dating when you were 9 years old? I seriously doubt that. Also, you expect us to believe that your parents allowed this? I'm not buying it.

If you're going to lie, at least make it believable. Not one person is going to believe that you started dating at the age of 9 and dated the guy for 3 years.

p.s. I AM NOT LIENG I have never lied in my life and my parents hear or see me lieng I will be dead in 10 second or grounded for a year or LIFE and well I just can't help saying this but I'm suicidal and I do have adhd and bi polar and well I'd lash out at him and mainly I did that when he asked me to french kiss hin that's when I slapped him across the face and broke up

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You are telling us your parents let you date when you were 9? I suspect we aren't talking about real dating. But, at least you had the knowledge and maturity to know where to draw the line (at french kissing)

Well this was helpful to me but someone doesn't even believe me just listen to my advice and please don't post hatefull comments other people!

Wondergirl · May 27, 2012, 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by monday56

p.s. I AM NOT LIENG i have never lied in my life and my parents hear or see me lieng i will be dead in 10 second or grounded for a year or LIFE and well i just can't help saying this but im suicidal and i do have adhd and bi polar and well i'd lash out at him and mainly i did that when he asked me to french kiss hin thats when i slapped him across the face and broke up

I hope you become a bestselling author. You have a terrific imagination!

ScottGem · May 27, 2012, 03:59 PM

Ok, so you aren't lying, but I doubt if you understand what dating really means. And it may not be lying, but if you aren't telling your parents things (like that you got your first period or that you are dating) then you are not being honest with them.

And if you do have your period what are you doing for sanitary protection? Is it any wonder your posts are not believable?

Alty · May 27, 2012, 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by monday56

p.s. I AM NOT LIENG i have never lied in my life and my parents hear or see me lieng i will be dead in 10 second or grounded for a year or LIFE and well i just can't help saying this but im suicidal and i do have adhd and bi polar and well i'd lash out at him and mainly i did that when he asked me to french kiss hin thats when i slapped him across the face and broke up

LMAO! You just lied! So much for that huh?

Read your post, see if you can find the lie. Should I show you?

"my parents hear or see my lieng I will be dead in 10 second or grounded for a year, or life". Which is it? It can't be all 3. If they kill you within 10 seconds, it's really not necessary to ground you for a year, or life. Also, I highly doubt your parents would kill you, so that's a lie. Do you even know what lying is?

Sorry kiddo, not buying any of it. Nice try though, but I'm a mom. I can smell a lie like a fart in a car.

talaniman · May 27, 2012, 04:20 PM

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ScottGem again.

You have to see from what you have written that 11 year old love can change fast for many reasons and you are changing too. As you learn more, you will change, such as what you think love, and dating is, and how your mom should be told immediately about your first period.

Most of us are older than your parents, and we KNOW what it was like at 11, and learning and growing, so don't be so defensive. We tell our grand kids the same thing we tell you.