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    mtwj's Avatar
    mtwj Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 30, 2012, 04:32 PM
    Girlfriend of 3 years
    I have this girl whom I met online, we've been dating for 3years and is currently living with me for the past 2years. She's holding a very good job with high pay, and expecting a promotion soon.

    First 2 years went very well, until nearing the end of the 2nd year, she started going drinking with her university friends more (she has been doing that for the past 2 years, but it suddenly increased, and they're mostly guys) and would rather hang out with them more. When I asked her about it, she just said we're already spending so much time together at home, but all we do at home was just watch dramas or play our own games.

    Intimacy level fell drastically too, recently every time I hint for sex, she would just say that she's tired, not interested. She's even stopped being touchy and started to dislike being touched.

    She still says that she loves me, and that I should think of our future together, and she's asking me to bring the dinner plates to the sink, take water from the fridge, basically doing small things, which I do. However I'm starting to feel like a servant instead of a boyfriend.

    I happened to peek at her SMS while she was showering and caught a glimpse of the message from a guy friend saying "I know you're going through a hard time now and we (her friends) will always be behind her in her decision."

    I'm guessing her problem is with me because I have been out of a job for roughly a year and my business failed as well. I'm currently emotionally unstable but as hurt as I am, I try to keep a happy face when she's around.

    The main problem is that I don't feel the same was I felt 3years ago, and that I'm the only 1 telling her about my problems and she doesn't. It feels like I'm being a burden to her, and she's staying around either out of sympathy or free lodging.

    She still does try to attend my family dinners though. I'm getting mixed readings about this, but I'm on the verge of breaking up with her. She's a wonderful girl, but I'm not sure if I can keep up with this. If it's all because I'm out of a job and that she's getting frustrated. Then in future I'm sure there will be bigger issues.

    Would appreciate any input from you guys

    P.S. We're in our late 20s.

    Also, when she used to go drinking, she would come back and want sex.. then after awhile she would only get horny after meeting a certain guy friend while drinking (with the uni friends). Now its totally nothing. Haven't been intimate for at least the past 7 months.
    JJAGGS's Avatar
    JJAGGS Posts: 3, Reputation: 0
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    #2

    Apr 30, 2012, 09:51 PM
    Dude I'm sorry to tell you... It's already over, it's just a matter of when. She wants to be free, if you care at all for her, let her go... She is definitely done, she just can't figure out a way to tell you because she has a kind heart. Also, and don't take this the wrong way, but if she is the one putting food on the table, I'd be Goddamned if I would be expected to lift a finger around the house; unless you are out filling out applications 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. Really man, grow up. Be a man!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    May 1, 2012, 01:17 AM
    Are you kidding? Who wouldn't get frustrated with a guy who was unemployed for so long and was emotionally unstable, and worse, unwilling to do small things to show appreciation for her efforts. Your face has a smile but your actions are those of an entitled child who feels no responsibility.

    You had better get your a$$ in gear no matter what it takes and stop being dull, dead weight. Get over your past failures and get something going for yourself. And you want to dump her?? Unreal!! You mean give her the freedom to enjoy herself as she thrives and survives.

    If you are unstable and know it, see a doctor.
    mtwj's Avatar
    mtwj Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 1, 2012, 02:08 AM
    Yes, I am filling applications as much as possible, and I'm either overqualified or have not enough experience.

    But I guess you're right. I should let her go. Thanks for your advice.

    And also, I'm still putting food on the table, I still have money left over from before and the only thing she pays for is probably toiletries, I still pay for everything else. Occasionally she would pay for food but mostly it's me paying.

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