[talaniman]

Cowboy Revenge

A New Mexico cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
Pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud
Towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
Sunglasses
And YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you
exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give
me
a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
Peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
Connects
It to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get
An

Exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA
Satellite

That scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
Exports
It to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
Has
Been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes,
Hi- tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the
Cowboy

And says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
Cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused
As
The young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my animal?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.
Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
Though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
Knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much
Smarter
Than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... this is a
Herd

Of sheep.

Now give me back my dog."

[RubyPitbull]

Loved, loved, loved this!

[valinors_sorrow]

Its one of my favs too Ruby! LOL :rolleyes:

[magprob]

The really scary thing about it is that the Department of Agriculture really can do all of that. I think they might be spying on my chickens. They been laying hard boiled eggs for two weeks now. I think it's the high powered satellite microwaves or them MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on that Dingleberry thingy.

[RubyPitbull]

LMAO magprob. My morning coffee just went up my nose.

[talaniman]

The really scary thing about it is that the Department of Agriculture really can do all of that. I think they might be spying on my chickens. They been laying hard boiled eggs for two weeks now. I think it's the high powered satellite microwaves or them MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on that Dingleberry thingy.

It coud be that, but when is the last time you had your rooster checked? No telling what he's been doing on the Net, while your sleep. I just don't trust a bird who wakes up that early, and don't need coffee.