[greeno12]

I worked for the police and met a girl within the police force she started to take an interest in me and well things blossomed... Here comes the big blow! She is married and is currently in the process of selling her house with her husband as they need the money to be able to afford there legal fee's to issue a divorce! Its not because of me that they are divorcing but because the husband is very controlling etc etc! She tell's me she loves me and does everything possible to assure me and we do things together.. As far as both parties are concerned the marriage is a flaw and well they try be civil with one another.. You can't help who you fall in love with and well this girl is something special and she has spoken to me about a future together etc etc and takes the risk of seeing me as if she is caught then she could be made bankrupt in the courts but she has said she would risk it because she does care for me and love me.. Due to the husband being controlling I can't always just pick up the phone and ring her to talk and she has to cut things short so she gets home on time so that no suspicion is aroused as he makes her answer to her daily business which all leads to the issue of him filing a divorce to say she was unfaithfull and her ending up bankrupt... Do I stick this out or just leave? I've only ever had 2 serious relationships and ended up being walked all over and cheated on...

[talaniman]

I don't know where in the world you are but in America, emotional issues have little to do with dividing assets of the marriage.

But to the larger issue of leaving, or staying, how can you expect a clean straight forward healthy adult relationship with some one who is having such a messy circumstance they are going through? It cannot happen, and its no fun. You will get the fall out of her hell, and that's unavoidable.

You decide if she is worth all this crap, and worth the risk of this NOT working. Take some real time to evaluate for yourself the situation, and see the FACTS, and not just the FEELINGS.

Obviously she cannot give what you want because she still has a failed marriage and many issues to deal with for this relationship to be healthy. No telling how she will feel when its over, as even she doesn't know, but its your risk to take.

Fact is, she has other factors to consider before she makes you her top priority, and it makes sense for you not to put all your eggs in her basket at this time. I fail to see the upside of having a romance with some one who has so many extra issues in her life with a future ex.

Heck guy, you have your own issues and fears that makes things even worse. This situation cannot help that.