Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    JudytiredofBS's Avatar
    JudytiredofBS Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 27, 2012, 08:39 PM
    My BF owes his ex money.
    My BF will not break off contact with his ex because he says he feels guilty and he owes her about $30,000. Of course, she wants her money and he should repay it, but in the meantime, she acts like she owns him. She doesn't speak English very well (or pretends not to) and asks him to do everything from help her find a house to getting mulch for the yard... AND HE DOES IT.

    I say he should tell her that he cannot continue to be at her beckon call, but that he will set a schedule to repay the money. However, he says she is "guilting him" into doing things.

    How much to do think a loan makes him beholden to her? What do you think is fair to her and me?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #2

    Apr 27, 2012, 08:58 PM
    He owes her money, nothing else. He needs to set up a payment plan and that is it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Apr 27, 2012, 10:28 PM
    She should get paid, plain and simple, BUT what's raising the hair on the back of my neck is how he owes her so much money, and why he hasn't started repaying her. I smell a rat here to be honest.

    And he feels that guilty he gives up his dignity, and self respect?? UNREAL! That's not guilt, that's down right FEAR!!
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #4

    Apr 28, 2012, 02:53 AM
    I suppose she does sort of own him. He's the one you should be taking this out on, not her. If some guy ditched me owing that much I'd be doing whatever it takes to keep tabs on him, and if that means guilt tripping him until he forks over the dough, so be it. Why not write a contract with him in which you pay him 30K and he hands it to her with one hand while signing your contract with the other? Is it worth it? If you don't have 30K, decide if HE'S worth it.
    AskMe1159's Avatar
    AskMe1159 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Feb 21, 2013, 07:40 PM
    Well, it is almost one year since I posted my question about my then boyfriend and the money he owed his ex.

    Guess what? The one who smelled the rat... was spot on!

    My "boyfriend" got me to loan him $6,000. To buy a truck. He paid me half of it back long after it was due (and still owes the other half). It was at that point that I discovered he was staying overnight with the "ex" sometimes. Three times I caught him and each time he swore they were just friends. How stupid was I??

    Oh, it gets worse. Then, I discovered that the ex owned a asian massage parlor in some seedy little town and was under investigation by the Feds, ICE, and IRS. My ex is a COP by the way...

    My mother had a saying "lay down with dogs, you come up with fleas". I understand what she meant. I've written off the $3,000. And fled the scene!
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #6

    Feb 21, 2013, 07:44 PM
    Good thing you didn't lend him the 30K.

    Bad cops, bad cops, whatchagonna do when they come for you...

    Thanks for coming back to report. This was a memorable tale.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Some owes me money [ 2 Answers ]

A ex friend owes me $600 and he keeps telling me next week but next week never comes and I lent the money in early feb and he said he would pay it back in the next two to three months and he hasn't. I don't know what to do, he has his girl friend living there and she's got 2 children and single...

Ex owes me money [ 8 Answers ]

My ex owes me for my half of the damage deposit from when we lived together, and also for half the rent for the month of June. In total, it adds up to 856.25. A month or so ago, I thought I had finally got him to pay, because he gave me a cheque. But it of course bounced. The cheque was mailed back...

Ex owes me money [ 5 Answers ]

My ex-boyfriend owes me money. I helped him out wnen he was three months behind on his mortgagae. I lent him $6250. He is refusing to pay me back. How do I handle this? Do I contact his mortgage company and tell them or do I take him to small claims?

Ex owes money [ 2 Answers ]

I would really appreciate advise on this. I have recently broken up with my boyfriend of five and a half years, and believe he owes me approx £1500-1800.( I have the long process of checking all bank statements still to do, but it is def at least 1500). This was for a period just before xmas when...

Ex-owes me money! [ 7 Answers ]

A few years ago, I was engaged to a man who due to an injury, lost his job. He was in the process of looking for another job when he was suddenly without money. He was in need of $1,000. I offered him the money. He said that he did not want the money from me because he didn't want to ever get into...


View more questions Search