[Campdraftqueen]

Ok here's the thing. When ever I leave my room my mum is straight in there. I can never leave anything like my laptop unlocked, or my phone, other wise she is straight on them checking up on me. I understand that she just wants me safe but is this going to far, or is it just me?

I am turning 14 soon and this is starting to drive me nuts, and I am starting to wonder if someone has said anything to mum about me. This has been going on for about 2 yrs and it is starting to drive me insane. She knows that I have a boyfriend, and she has met him and she likes him. Is it fear that I'm doing something behind he back or what is it??

HELP Please

[Curlyben]

She clearly doesn't trust you.
You need to work out exactly why, although I can think of several reasons off the top of my head.

You then have to regain her trust and earn her respect back.

[Campdraftqueen]

But why wouldn't she trust me I have never broken her trust or anything. I just confused. But if she didn't trust me then why would she let my boyfriend stay the night with me at my house and he is 15 I am 14

[Curlyben]

This is something YOU need to figure out, probably by talking to her..
Antics like this most likely don't help you case at all: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...nd-653168.html

[Fr_Chuck]

At 14, I would not sneak, I would require you to allow me to check your online history, sorry, your mom is trying to protect you, and most likely she bought the computer, most likely she is paying for the interent, So I would say you have to understand that as a child living in your parents home trust is gained, it is lost, and at the end of the day parents have a duty to watch out and check up on you.

[talaniman]

Its you all right, as you have been going behind her back, and doing things that could bite you in the butt later. Why she allowed your boyfriend to stay over night is beyond me, and there must not be a dad around, but for sure a 14 year old should have NO privacy, that's not earned, and verified.

Basically its her rules that apply. You are a dependent she hopes to protect, and raise. Adults seldom will trust the good sense of a 14 year old, and neither will you when you have your own 14 year old daughter, who thinks she is an adult.

[Homegirl 50]

You lost your virginity at 12, I would be checking up on you too.
Your mom has every right to go through your things periodically. She no doubt paid for them and is responsible for you.

[Campdraftqueen]

My mum doesn't know about me losing my virginity is that bad

[Homegirl 50]

My mum doesn't know about me loosing my virginity is that bad

Your mom may suspect you are doing things, although I don't know why she'd allow your boyfriend to spend the night.
I would be checking out your computer and phone too. Why do you think you should be trusted with privacy, given what you are doing.

[talaniman]

She might not know, but suspects you have been up to something. I think she knows myself.

[Campdraftqueen]

Should I tell her that I'm not a virgin??

[Homegirl 50]

I would suspect she already knows but this is something she should know. At least as a mother I would want to know. It is a conversation mother and daughters should have.