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    starsbooty's Avatar
    starsbooty Posts: 119, Reputation: 7
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    #1

    Feb 22, 2007, 03:13 PM
    He wants to start over and do things right but I'm not sure.
    Hey all,

    I am feeling like I am unsure of my relationship right now, he deleted his myspace and so did I, but I found out he cheated some months ago, and now I am like I love him so much but I don't want to go through this again, he said it will never happen again and it was the first time, but I don't know what to do or believe, I just don't know... any advice because I feel like I want to be with him but I'm not sure, and my heart feels all the way broken.. I know I have told him that I don't all the way trust him in the past but I did and now it feels like why... please give me some insight... thanks.. incouraging words, and advice would be helpful...
    Nohitter410's Avatar
    Nohitter410 Posts: 187, Reputation: 50
    Junior Member
    		  
    #2

    Feb 22, 2007, 04:49 PM
    Once a cheater always a cheater... if he is willing to work then I say consider it if you truly love him but if he has to tell you it was the first time then I would be hesitant.

    Make him work for it and don't just give in because he is the appearance of what you think you want.
    drop's Avatar
    drop Posts: 10, Reputation: 3
    New Member
    		  
    #3

    Feb 22, 2007, 06:03 PM
    I think you should hold out for what I call great sincerity. That is, if someone hurts you in an obvious way (like cheating!), they owe you a deep and very sincere apology with a plan to make amends at a minimum. Then, to show their sincerity, they give you the time to decide what to do and then follow through with their plan if you decide to give them a chance.

    Great sincerity may not be enough to regain your trust. Certainly, it is possible their plan certainly may not work out (once a cheater, always a cheater is generally true). But, that's the way I would start if I truly loved someone and royally screwed up...

    Good luck!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Feb 23, 2007, 03:21 PM
    No matter what go slow until you feel YOU are ready to trust him, and do not hesitate to trust your own instincts. He had his chance, so if you feel you should get a life without him, do so for your own happiness.
    starsbooty's Avatar
    starsbooty Posts: 119, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
    		  
    #5

    Feb 27, 2007, 01:17 PM
    I am still so confused.. some days it feels like I am over it. And some days it feels like the worst feeling in the world. I just do not understand this hole thing. I felt like I was an OK girlfriend and I did everything for him... today is a terrable day, I just want to cry, and tell him leave me alone, but if he wasn't there when I got home I would be sad... what do I do...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Feb 27, 2007, 02:35 PM
    Could it be its not you but him? Love is not confusion and misery. And if your both not trying to work through this, what's the point? Do what you have to to make a decision.
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