[Loopyloo1]

I have been single for a number of years, then last year I decided to start dating again. I joined an on line dating agency and out of all the people I spoke to I found one man very interesting. We started dating but it fizzled out after a couple of months due to his work commitments and the distance between us.

Then during the time we spent apart I started chatting to a guy online, we laughed a lot and had genuine conversations, the first guy got back in touch at the beginning of this year and said he had feelings for me and could we try and make it work? I agreed, I am in love with him, there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever, however I have become very close to the other guy through online chatting, and I discovered he only lives less than a mile from me. He also feels he is in love with me and that if I continue seeing guy number 1 he will have to back off, which made me look at what had grown between us and I find I love this man too.

And now I don't want to lose either but I have to choose. They are both aware of each other, in that 1 thinks 2 is a close online friend and 2 knows I am in love with them both. And needs me to make a decision. I don't know what to do!

[talaniman]

Talaniman Rule - Never let any one tell you who to date and when.

Talaniman Rule - Date them all, and leave the ones who cannot handle it alone.

Talaniman Rule - Date them all, short, fat, skinny or tall. 18 to 80! Blind cripple or crazy!

My point, its your dating life, and until there is a commitment to be exclusive, let no one dictate your choices. The ones that can't handle that, that's their problem. You think you love them both? Then date them both and see. Who knows, maybe there is a third option out there for you, better than them both.

Dating is to enjoy getting to know someone, so enjoy, and keep getting to know whomever you please, if they can hang by YOUR rules until you are ready for a choice.

[Ariane16]

I have been in a similar situation before, and what I did is spend time with both of them until it became absolutely obvious for me who I wanted to commit to.
Even though you are sure you are in love with 1, if it was so doubtless you wouldn't hesitate between him and 2.
If you decide right away to commit to 1, you would always have doubts concerning your potential relationship with 2, that might have been just as good, or even better, than yours with 1. And at every little disagreement with 1, you would wonder if you made the right choice. You don't want the ghost of 2 floating over your relationship with 1.

Make it clear to both men you are not ready to commit right away. Spend enough time with both of them to reach that "revelation" moment, when you know with absolute certainty who you want to be with, who you can't imagine your life without.

It just seems to me that you can hesitate between two people who attract you, but when you fall in love with one of them, the thought of being with someone else is unbearable