[KadeleM]

Hello everyone, and thank you for taking the time to read/reply to my question.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for around half a year now. I had liked him for a very long time and some-what naively fell in love with him when we first started seeing one another; though, it was casual. No promises on his behalf, and because of that I know he isn't at fault whatsoever.

I really do love him and have never felt this strongly for someone in my entire life.

However, the other day we were talking. I'm not quite sure on how we got onto this subject, but I asked him if he had slept with anyone else during the period when we were seeing one another.

He said no, but he had received oral sex from someone. When he told me who, it absolutely devastated me.

The woman in question is his best friend.

He practically lives at her house, they're very close.

What makes things a million times worse is the fact she's married and constantly cheats on her husband. I'm honestly not saying this out of spite, she has many redeeming qualities, but she is a complete and utter whore. I would go into detail just so you could understand the serverity of her disgusting antics, but I'm far too worn out and upset to do so. She is a total man eater, and it breaks my heart to no end that whilst we were seeing one another- myself falling in love and thinking the feeling was mutual (it was, in the end) he was fooling around with other girls. It was bad enough as it was; during the time we were taking things casually, I cried myself to sleep one too many times wondering if he loved me too, if he was using me. And now that this has come out, it makes me feel some-what like an idiot.

I know he hasn't cheated. But why does it feel like he has?

Another thing that is driving me insane is a few weeks ago he accidentally called me by her name. He said he was going to say something including her, but forgot what it was and messed up. I do believe him, but I can't stop it from messing with my mind.

I just don't know what to do anymore. We're not going to split up, because I love him, and despite everything I know he loves me too.

We've both cried, which seemed to only make it worse. I feel like I'm over-reacting and causing him pain by doing so, because I seriously can not stand seeing him upset. A 22 year old man who is usually as stoic as a rock crying does not make me feel any better, in the slightest.

He said he'd stop going round to hers, cut all contact, even grabbed his phone and said he was going to call her husband and tell him what happended; but I said no.

I really don't see any point in dragging more people into this. He knows what his wife is like; people she's slept with tell him, but either he's too much of an idiot or thinks too much of that woman, he still wouldn't leave her.

And I don't want to be the insecure girlfriend who doesn't let her boyfriend have female friends or hang around girls he's done things with; that just isn't me.

I really don't know how to get over this. It is actually killing me.

I haven't eaten in three days, I can't sleep, I can't even touch him. When we tried to be intimate this morning, I nearly threw up. Her lips have been over him, and it knocks me sick to my stomach. The fact we always go round to hers, that we were there pior to him telling me, her sat there all casual with her husband and my boyfriend sat there joking like nothing ever happened, it makes me want to scream. The fact that she KNEW how much I loved him too! Before we started dating, I confinded in her many times, telling her that I really liked him and hoping that he'd like me back- and she does that!

My head just hurts. I just really want to get over this, but don't know where to start. Please help.

[halifornia]

Oh baby. He loves you. I was typing this long response but basically all it amounted to was she's a whore.