[Lexismomma2011]

I was in a relationship with this guy.. We were awful together, we had nothing in common, he hated that I like to socialize and hang out with my friends to play pool, and I hated that his only idea of fun was playing online games. He comes from money, is a little socially awkward and stuck up, he said playing pool made me trashy etc. Needless to say we broke up after 6 months of dating. A few weeks after we separated, I found out I was pregnant. At first he denied it was his, then he tried to talk me into abortion, then when I refused he tried to buy me off.. His family offered me money if I agreed to put the baby up for adoption. I couldn't and wouldn't do those things, even when he threatened to hurt the baby... So he changed his number, moved, blocked me on fb, etc. At first I didn't care but after my baby was born I started feeling like he should be involved.. I tried reaching him, asked him to meet our daughter, sent pictures, but he continues to ignore me... Every time I would find a way to reach him, he would hang up and change his number. His parents contacted me and told me to leave him alone, that the baby isn't his (which is crazy for him to deny her, I never cheated, and once I found out I was pregnant, I obviously didn't date.. He's a redhead and so is our daughter!) I think this is so unfair to my baby, she deserves to know her father and she deserves to be loved! I never asked him for money, and I definitely don't want him back, I just want him to LOVE our little girl and be involved in her life! I don't know what to do at this point how can I get him to meet her? Do you think he'll ever change? Should I continue to contact him, even though he keeps avoiding me? Why wouldn't a father want his own child? She's only 4 months right now.

[JudyKayTee]

He made it very clear to you from the very beginning that he did not want this child. I don't know why you're surprised that that hasn't changed. Fair or unfair - you chose this guy to make a baby with. He can be forced to pay support.

Why are you trying to force him to see the child when he (in your own words) "threatened to hurt the baby"?

The only way to prove she's his child is Court-ordered and recognized DNA testing. Keep contacting him and his family and you could be charged with harassment.

Hire an Attorney and pursue child support. Pursue it yourself. You can force him to support the child. You cannot force him to visit, be interested or, for that matter, be a father to the child.

Should you keep contacting him? No.

Sorry to be harsh but you always knew he did not want to have a child with you. You should not be surprised that he wants no contact with you or your child.

The bottom line is don't have a child with someone who calls you trashy, threatens to hurt children and whose family tells you to leave him and them alone. Too late now, of course.

How old are the two of you? How old were you when the sexual relationship began? Who supports you financially?

[DoulaLC]

You can't make him be involved and it is obvious that he isn't interested. You can, however, seek support which your daughter would be entitled to.

Many people date and become involved with no interest of having or raising a child. Unfortunately they don't take that possibility into account when they are engaging in sex. It is especially unfortunate when the two people are not actually even serious about each other.

It is admirable that you are raising your child on your own, and it would certainly be nice if he were interested as well, but you shouldn't automatically expect him to be. I am guessing a baby wasn't part of the plan when the two of you were having sex.

You won't change his mind by continuing to contact him. He knows how to reach you if he should ever change his mind... which some day he might... or he might not. Down the road, if you were to meet and marry someone who wanted to adopt your daughter, her father could allow that to happen.

In the meantime, surround her with plenty of relatives and friends who will love and support the two of you.