[attraversiamo]

I have been on and off with this fellow for about four years now, which has been significant for me, especially since we are both so young that four years is an incredible length of life to spend living this way. He spent around a year chasing after me because I wasn't ready to emotionally invest in anyone, in fact, I wasn't even when I tried with him the first time. At that point, we were both freshmen in high school and had never had truly serious relationships. I hadn't really figured out my social standing and place in the world, and -influenced by the ignorant, uninformed, blind disdain my friends had for him- I only half-committed. Well, I committed in my head, but constantly sent him and other signals of un-interest and that same judgment and disdain. I was embarrassed, even though now I know that he is the most wonderful guy I have ever known.

Anyway, the next year we spent going back and forth, either being rather rude to each other, or being thoughtful and sweet; when I had experienced a bad relationship and word had spread, he was there for me, and subsequently admitted "I have always been in love with you." it all clicked. I took all of the bickering to mean that he hated me, but it was his (immature/insecure) way of just getting my attention! Well, my heart soared, admittedly, because I had realized that I had done the same thing. Unfortunately, I was so hung up over the other guy that I -thinking I could, what? Attract him more?- said "You and I will never be anything again." So he started dating another girl, one of his friends: Anna. She's sweet, beautiful, a little naïve, but overall a great girl. I remember being hurt by his latest relationship, but I figured it would end at some point in the summertime, so I decided that I had enough time to try to "Win him back" after the two months' repose. When I returned, they were still dating, but the dynamic between he and I had changed: we were never, ever mean. He would send me those dreamy stares, and I knew how much he had felt for me (A whole montage in my head screamed it out for me, since my reaction timing is a little slow, and it took three years for me to realize what an idiot I am!) and, when we started to do the musical together, he and I had some alone time, and we sort of danced around our feelings, and wound out kissing in one of the back hallways. He was polite, honestly it was my fault, although he didn't turn me away. When we were called in to sing, he told me that we'd have a rain check, and he and I, for once, were perfect. I figured I would eventually just tell him directly "I like you so much, you like me, right? Okay, let's do this then and stop playing around." I mean, I have matured to the point where I know that waiting would be to let every memory fade more and more into the past to become irrelevant, and I didn't want to lose him.

I have also matured to recognize that this could be the classic "He loves me but won't leave his wife scenario" as he's still dating Anna. The weekend passed and I was ready to face him, but instead I faced my friend retelling my story and it working it's way to Anna, -now this part I can only assume because her brother found out, and all of her best friends-. Of course, I had been guilt-ridden, but I wasn't ready to lose the guy that I finally realized that I was in love with. Well, it's safe to say he and I haven't had a real conversation in probably three weeks, and I don't know why. When I enter a room, he leaves it. I feel like he's avoiding me, yet I can still feel his gazes. All of the body language is there; a couple of times, he has tried talking to me, and he has this whole puppy-dog eye stare that makes me believe that he thinks I'm the one who's avoiding him. He has only tried when he and I are both speaking with our mutual friend, Sadie.

I can't help but feel that, in some way, he was hoping I would tell him I love him so he could be with me after so long, as he seems sort of upset. The other, darker side suggests that he is mad at me for accidentally getting the word to Anna, and wants nothing of me in his life. There are many other details, but I feel like I can spare them as I have already written the better half of a dramatic teen novel, I'm not proud! Lastly, to make matters the worst, he is graduating early (because most people are sort of rude to him and he's sensitive like that) so, in a few months, he'll be gone and my opportunity will also be. I know he's dating Anna and she's great, but I can't help but hope he thinks I'm just as great, if not better. I really love him (And I don't use that word lightly) and he just may. Any thoughts/suggestions?

[rasberryla]

Go to him and tell him how you feel. If he doesn't say anything to you at least he knows how you feel. And so what if he has a girlfriend what you have is special.

[rosie_ash]

I had a thing like this a while ago it took me and my friend 7 years to finally stop and "can we just give it a go and see how things are" I have to agree you need to just tell him that u really like him and have for awhile and that u done want to see each other when your happy in a relationship so that it drags up old feelings. As it did with me.

[sean_s]

Send him a postcard, mentioning your feelings. It will be very sweet.

[talaniman]

It is a sweet teen novel, and you have a lot of assumptions but what throws me is he knows how to date Anna, but not you. I say stay away from couples, because coming between them seldom works out well, and young though you are, and were, you had a chance, and it didn't work.

Do you actually want to reveal your feelings to a guy who is dating another? Especially one you have already rejected. You better be careful, as reality, is not like a teen novel, no matter how strongly you feel about some one else's guy.

Follow your head, and not your heart.