[cmdancer01]

I am a 23 year old woman, and I met my boyfriend 6 months ago. Immediately we had a connection, and became very close. But when I met him I was still trying to get over my ex, who I loved, and it was hard for me to move on. I didn't see a future with this guy, and although he was kind, generous, loving, and thoughtful, there wasn't that fire and intense romantic connection that I was looking for.

I have been trying to call things off for a while now, and I genuinely want to be friends. Finally, this morning I told him that I was ultimately looking for something different in a partner, but that I cared for and respected him immensely. I just feel so guilty because I feel like I have been leading him on, and I was basically keeping him around to ensure that I wouldn't feel so alone.

I feel TERRIBLE because he was so good to me, and really wanted something serious. I have let him down, and now we are both alone. How do I get over this guilt and sadness? I already miss him but I know its for the best and that it would be unfair to keep leading him on.

[I wish]

Now that you are broken up, you will need to recover from this break up separately. I think that you should be glad that you did not drag things on any longer. The longer you are together, the worse it would be for the break up.

You may feel that you should have broken up sooner, but look at it this way, you didn't break up sooner, because you wanted to give the relationship a chance because he's a good guy. Now that you have given the relationship a chance, you realize that you're better off going your separate ways.

So I would say, it's a good thing, you gave the relationship a real chance, so you shouldn't have any regrets. You would regret it more if you broke up too soon, before you were sure that you should break up.

Hopefully both of you have learned a bit more about yourself and what you want in a partner, so that going forward, both of you will be able to find happiness, now that you have a better idea of what makes both of you happy.

[chiper7777]

I just went through the same thing... I think what you have to remember is that you did nothing wrong at all... you didn't cheat on him and you called it off as soon as you could... Also like the previous post mentions you really did give it a fair shot... You date him for a reason... that reason may yet to reveal itself but you did... the biggest thing to remember is that good people get together all the time and it does not work... or there is not that fire... or passion whatever you would like to call it... just know that you handled it like an adult and it is OK that it did not work out...

[sean_s]

You had a connection? Did you misrecognise it? Then indeed you have a contribution to the chain of events. Usually, there is a saying return the double of what you break. Would you like to try that?

[talaniman]

Some times doing the right thing hurts as bad as doing the wrong thing. But doing the right thing helps you both. Now you both can heal, and move on with no regrets, or guilt. And no shame.

You tried it just didn't work.