[Silver Lining]

8 years after Graduation, I got a wonderful job (until now I was concentrating on family). The offer was good, pay was good, work timing was great, and profile was something I was very much interested in. I decided to accept. But then, there was an issue... who would look after my daughter? My parents work, and hence I can't expect them to take care of her. Hence, my mother in law was called. My husband suggested it and even before I could think about it, he called her and she accepted.

My mother in law and I are completely different and we can't live with each other for more than a week... I mean she is completely orthodox and I am too modern... she expects me to follow her rules when she comes to stay over,, I caan't live my life like the way she wants.

Hence, I refused to take that offer... I didn't want her living with us,, that was the only reason,, now m regretting it... I feel I'v hurt her, and indirectly hurt my hubby,, I also lost a good opportunity,, I wanted to work,, wanted to have a social life,, what do I do? How do I get over it?

[Jake2008]

I can see why you didn't want your mother in law to be your daughter's caregiver on a permanent bases. But, why didn't you have any other alternatives, or consider other alternatives.

There are/were licenced daycare centres, qualified nannies, women who have home daycare, etc.

Is the issue maybe, after 8 years at home, jumping back into the working world has you a little fearful? It is not an easy transition to go from being home, to being back in the working world.

Am I in the ballpark at all?

[Silver Lining]

Thank you for your response Jake...

I had been looking for a job, but never got a good offer,, working was something I was looking forward to,, I had decided to study further if I didn't get a job, just so I can get a social life, improve my communication, gain market knowledge and be something. So, I guess it's my mother-in-law, and not fear...

There are a lot of institutions, day care centres around,, but even before I could think of them, my husband spoke to his mom,, so I didn't have the opportunity to bring it up,,

Now that I rejected the offer, I can do nothing but wonder what'd have happened...
M scared to even study further,, scared because if I apply somewhere, my mother in law will be bac with us,, therez no way I can ask my husband to consider daycare,, :(