[Mindfr3ak]

So.. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years,and we had our ups and downs .Five months ago while in a fight with her over stupid things. I insulted her and she was devastated. I did that same mistake 3 more times and didn't even notice that she was constantly hurt by my words.

Then,a new guy came and he started wiping her tears every time she cried about me, he made her feel happy and "alive" again, but he was still just a friend in her eyes. She loved me more than her own life, cared about me even when I acted like a total idiot. I loved her too,even more than she loved and cared about me, but I don't know why I acted that way and hurt her.

Well,one day while she was crying that new guy told her that its enough and that she should break up with me, and I knew that he meant trouble. She trusted him more than me, and we broke up. I was devastated and lost. I begged her to get back with me, I even changed my behavior just so that she can be happy with me, but she said that she doesn't want to cry anymore, and that she doesn't trust that I won't hurt her again. She also told me that I'm her one and only love and that I'm the perfect guy for her, its just that she doesn't trust me anymore and doesn't want to be sad.

So, I just searched online for help and I was told not to contact her for a while, and she will come back to me. But one week after our break up she entered in a relationship with that friend. She told me that I shouldn't try to win her back again, and that she doesn't want to think about the future. I felt hurt and depressed and I told her that we'll be back again for sure... her answer was "we may get back together, or dont, I dont want to think about that". Then I once again started ignoring her with the "cat and mouse" tactic, so that she can realize how good it was when we were together. Its been 2 weeks now, and I'm still thinking about her every minute of the day, even though I'm busy and don't have much time to be "alone". I feel like I'm going insane, I want to text her but my will is stronger (for now).

She texted me once yesterday and she just asked me how am I and what am I doing. I replied that I don't have time to talk now and that was it. She seems happy, I don't know if she really is or if she's just acting, but I know for sure that she isn't over me, that she still loves me(she told me that herself-she just doesn't love me as much as she used to,but its still love), and that I'm her only love.

So my question now is: can I win her back again? She's worth my love and my time, and if I can win her back I will do anything that is in my power to do so. I really need help.

[talaniman]

While I can understand you being upset, my questions are what did you expect when you used harsh words to upset her over, and over again, even after you knew it was a mistake yet kept doing it, until she dumped you for another? What did you really think after you ran her to another for comfort?

I think you need to change and not just say it to get her back. I also think it's a shame and huge mistake for her to start another relationship out of the hurt you caused. Will she comeback, not as long as she is afraid of being hurt. That may take a long time before she gets over it.

I'm sorry guy, but I have no advice for you to get her back, nor do I know how you can ever make up for the verbal abuse you have visited on this female, and maybe you leave her alone to heal on her own, rather than risk the chance of you abusing her yet again.

I mean what have you been doing to change the abusive ways that caused this mess in the first place?