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Steveneddiii · Mar 23, 2012, 02:30 AM

I can't stop thinking about my ex girlfriend. We had a 2.5 years relationship with many ups and downs; definitely more downs, but great and unforgettable memories. I realized that for the past few months I have been thinking of her, the memories we created together, and the things that we could've accomplished in life together. She was the girl which you avoid to think about the future but you just find yourself thinking about it when you're by yourself looking at her photos; even though the relationship ended that's exactly hiw I feel, still. I need someone to talk to, I can't use family or friends because all they are going to say is "hell to her she didn't deserve you you could do better", but is not that simple. Worst case is that I am seeing someone else but I feel two things buried into my heart; 1. That this new girl is lovely, and given, but I don't feel I am doing right letting her develop feelings towards me while I am think about my ex. And 2. While I'm with this new girl all I think of is my ex being with some other guy. I need someone to talk to, please help me.

I've tried to do extracurricular things, spend as much time outside with family, friends, and with this new girl. But I've realized that lately I have been spending more time alone and even though I want to I can't give in to erasing past memories like photos or gifts. I've tried pretty much everything but I fall back and find myself staring at her picture and thinking that maybe I could've done differently. Help me! Please.

talaniman · Mar 23, 2012, 02:36 PM

You need a better plan for when you are alone, and staring at her picture and wondering is a lousy cop out. Its like sitting on the pity pot. And you are right, rebounding into a new relationship makes it a lot worse, and at least you are seeing the guilt in such a move.

You have much to correct, start with using the new person. Correct it. Then pack away all the exes stuff, especially her picture, and stay off the pity pot. Then look around for any chore you can do, hobby you have neglected, or task that needs doing.

Look in the mirror and tell sad sack to get the freak out, and be the MAN you want to be. APPLY yourself to your own happiness. Be honest, you have made some good progress, and all you need is more time, so keep going, and hang in there.

Steveneddiii · Mar 23, 2012, 03:07 PM

Thank you. It's helped me to put things in perspective. But overall I just need to get her out of my mind because is affecting my professional life too. There are moments when I go to sleep with a good attitude looking forward to enjoy the following day but for reasons that I can't comprehend I dream about her and when I wake up is like I'm expecting her to be next to me or in the kitchen or something. I think the routine is getting the best out of me and is putting me extremely down.

How should I handle that?

talaniman · Mar 23, 2012, 03:28 PM

Lets be real, we can have feelings, good or bad, but we still have to maintain some type of control over our actions.

We sure can't let our feelings control us in negative ways, can we? I mean haven't you seen guys who bring their home problems to work with them? Bet they were fun to work with huh? Keep it professional at work my friend. ALWAYS.