[Mmfritter]

I am 19 years old and I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 months. We have now started to become sexually active but I keep having this issue. I can get an erection but it may not always be fully hard and sometimes it goes away right when we start to do things. Example: She was going down on me and as soon as she started to suck me I become soft and it became so frustrating. I want to have sex and I want a blowjob and all of that but I lose my erection very quickly. I know a lot of it has to do with being nervous. And I'm very comfortable with her. I know pill aren't the healthiest for you but what pills would work the best for my issue? I know there are Extenze and Viagra but what works the best? And preferred if it wasn't prescribed. I've read a lot on this. And tried all of it. But nothing seems to work. And I can get hard and stay when I'm just maturating. Help?

[Cat1864]

For clarification, have you had sex before this or is this the first person you have been sexual with?

For any prescription medication, you will need to see a doctor. Don't rely on anything you get off the internet. There is a big market in 'fakes' and some of them are more dangerous than the real thing. Plus, with possible side effects your health would need to be monitored.

If you are nervous, medications won't do much to help. Males, as well as females, need mental stimulation and to limit distractions. Being concerned is a major distraction.

You may need more time getting comfortable with her in an intimate way. Spend some time exploring each other's bodies with no expectation of things going any farther. Talk to each other. Verbal communication can help focus your mind and keep it from panicking.

Work up to oral sex. In other words, she shouldn't 'attack' your penis as soon as your clothes are off. Caress, kiss, etc. other parts and gradually get to the penis. Then start from the base instead of the head. Let the pleasure build gradually.

If you lose the erection, slow down and take a step back. Don't focus on the worry about not staying hard. Focusing on it can make the problem even worse because then you are expecting it to happen.

Remember that sex doesn't have to be 'serious'. Being silly and playful can help distract from worries and fears.

Take your time and good luck.

[Beardedsumo]

And I can get hard and stay when I'm just maturating. Help?

At a guess, you squeeze pretty hard when masturbating. If so, your penis is used to your hand keeping the blood down there which keeps you hard. Re-training will require you to remember to keep a loose grip, preferably with just a thumb and one finger forming a ring to stroke yourself with.

If that's not the case, you probably are suffering from stage fright. In that case, cuddling and playing with no expectations as others have said may help you get over your anxiety.

Remember, don't have sex, make love.