Am I a clinger?

dlbcjj164 · Feb 20, 2007, 12:15 AM

I've known this guy at work for 3 years now, we were hanging out when I first started meeting him, we hooked up- we weren't dating but still talked a lot. And he stopped talking to me because he said I acted like his girlfriend when that's not what he wanted. We already talked about how that's not what he wanted so I don't understand how he said I acted like that? I don't believe I acted like that and mayb it was because of another reason he's not telling me. What are some signs of a girl acting like a guyz girlfriend?

momincali · Feb 20, 2007, 12:46 AM

Well, kind of asking a lot of his time and lots of questions, or at least what seems like lots of questions. Like, where are you? Where you been? Are you coming over? What are you doing? Let's go out tonight? Meet my friends/family...

Guys who want to keep it very casual really shy away from that stuff. Either you like his terms or you don't, if you don't, then let him keep walking and find someone to hang out with who wants more.

talaniman · Feb 20, 2007, 05:52 AM

A female friend can give other girls a stay away signal if your together too much, and that can't be good. Back off and widen your horizons with other friends.

valinors_sorrow · Feb 20, 2007, 06:23 AM

Along with what the others posted, I would add that the signals to this can be very subtle. So subtle you don't see them at first. Who's to say that you didn't translate your desire for him in some open ways without paying attention and that added to it? I am all for being open, more so than most, but clearly he felt you were over the line for a female coworker and that's not something to sneeze at. Its good that you are reviewing what you did only because if you are really doing things you don't see, the next guy might not be nearly so casual about it. If it wasn't you, then no sweato! My take on those things is once does not make a pattern. Its just that unwelcomed romantic or desire-toned behavior in the workplace is never good and workplace relationships are tricky at best for all of us, so bear that in mind.

Nosnosna · Feb 20, 2007, 06:27 AM

Talking about it and following it are two different things. It's possible that while you think you're doing what he wants in that regard, you aren't.

It's equally possible that he's found someone else to occupy his time in that regard, and he's looking to break the fling off without the guilt of actually doing so.