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How to care less about someone?
Hi, I'm 21 years old, and have been in an on, and off relationship with my son's father for almost 7 years. I have always loved him, and he feels the same, but for the past 2 years, he's cheated on me, and lied on several occasions. But whenever I try to move on, he wants to work things out. We've both tried to move on to other relationships, yet we always wind up back together. That's just a little of our back story.
For the past 2 months we've been pretty happy not officially committing to each other, because he doesn't want to be in a relationship. We do all the things people would do in a relationship, double dates, expensive dinners, mini vacations, waking up together almost everyday. But lately I feel like he's just stringing me along until he's ready for I don't know what. He tells me I'm free to move on whenever I want, but when I utter the words of someone else all hell breaks lose. Can someone please tell me if I should move on with my life, or continue to grow with him until he's ready. I am desperate for advice from someone outside our family and friend |
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How is this impacting your son? That would be my primary concern.
It sounds like he has the best of both worlds. He's not in a relationship because he doesn't want to be in one but you go on double dates, expensive dinners, mini-vacations, sleep overs. If you're 21 and have been with him for 7 years this started when you were 14. Perhaps you both aren't the people you were 7 years ago. How old is your child? |
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My son loves having both of us around the majority of the time. He's 4 yrs old but its always just been me and his father. When we were separate it was hard on him that's why we tried to stay as close as possible. We both understand things have changed over the years we've talked about "growing pains" plenty of times and our families have been our biggest help from the beginning but no I don't know if this is just another opstical to get over or if its time to call it quits. We both express our love for each other but is love enough?
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No, love is not enough. Other people will add other things but I think you need mutual respect, compassion, understanding, COMMITMENT, friendship.
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You need boundaries so you have a separate life from him. Its one thing to be good parents to your son, its another to still socialize with him, and he is not there for YOU. Next time all hell breaks lose when you try to do your thing, ignore him! He has no rights, or control, and you don't have to listen, or OBEY him.
He is keeping YOU from moving on with his passive aggressive behavior, and false hope has you allowing it! No more of this dating/sex/socializing, I mean none! Family business only, while you do your own thing. Starting NOW! He has been in your life a long time, and will be in it even longer since you have a child together, but you deserve and need your own life. Judy is right, this commitment/attachment, is one sided. |
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Well I have been with my boyfriend 14 yrs, have a 10 yr old an he cheated on me Agee yrs back said he didn't care what I did was mean so I got with a guy. He acted like I broke his heart, he said we weren't together . Now same thing all over again tells everyone I'm his girl, but when were fighting he says go be with another guy I don't care. But then acts like we're together if not fighting we just don't have sex. I have been loyal and faithful the whole time but I was afraid to be with anyone else cause I didn't know what to do. Well I had enough he started stay out at night with this hoe, so I decided to get with a real nice hot sexy guy who's my neighbor, an yes I feel guilty cause I love this man, but I don't regret it this time. An have considered trying to be with the hotti instead. So it actually made me feel better than worse. I know what's up he wants to have his cake an eat it too an, in the end he's not going to have the best girl he ever had. It's really complicated but I had enough he ain't loyal I'm done giving an not getting so this time I got what I wanted.
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