[AngryWife2424]

I have been with my husband for 7 years, we just got married last yea, the back ground story is that I caught him a few years back, emotionally cheating on me with other women via the internet aka msn and plentyoffish. I chose to forgive him, because I genuinely love him for all his faults and quirks. I have always been faithful to him even the times that I broke up with him for his "minor" indescretions, I didn't want anyone else, so I saw no reason to date anyone else even though we were broke up. Now that we are married, I have started college in hopes of finding better employment so that someday we can own our home and be completely self-reliant, and because I have been super stressed, and his mother drives me insane because she is money hungry and manipulative, I have not so much become distant with him as my sex drive is at an all time low. I can't stop thinking about all the problems long enough to even think about the very idea of being intimate. That being said, because of my lack of interest in sex, he said that "one can only presume that you have someone else on the side." I am very hurt that he would think such a thing especially when he knows how I feel about cheaters. Not to mention, he spends hours on the internet and texting, and is really secretive about his actions.
I am at a loss, because when I tried to assure him that no such thing was taking place, he said that I sounded defensive, when in reality I was extremely offended.
I wish I knew how to handle this situation effectively.

[leichoo]

Wow he's trying to be the victim when clearly he's the one that still has something going on! He already knows that if he got away with it the first time then he can pretty much do it again. Don't let him accuse you of something you haven't done he wants to make you feel bad and guilty just how he feels!

[tickle]

He is trying to turn the tables on you; because he is actually up to his old tricks again, I assume. At last that is what I read into it.

You and he need to sit down and talk about this before it gets out of hand.

He is playing games because you found him out the first time. I hope you can see through his charade.

[Cat1864]

Do you trust him? If the answer to that question is 'no', then you may want to think about separation while you build a better foundation for yourself.

How much more energy are you willing to put into the relationship? If you still are willing to work with him (understand that you cannot fix the issues on your own), then you might think about marriage counseling. If he won't work with you and continues to play blame games, then you should back away and take care of yourself. Try not to allow him or the situation to cause you to feel or think negatively about yourself.

If he is willing to go to counseling or at very least sit down and discuss the marriage without becoming defensive or attacking, then you have to decide if it is too little, too late. Can you put his latest behavior issues behind you?

I know it can be hard to let go of something and someone you have put so much energy into. I also holding on can be damaging to yourself. Be honest with yourself. Don't try to hold on to how you thought or dreamed things would be. Take a long hard look at reality. Look at the past and see if you are caught up in a repeating pattern. If so, do you honestly think it can be broken if you stay in the relationship?

This may not be what you want to think about, but when you broke up while dating, did he see other women? Did the break ups seem to happen when he was looking for something 'different'? Did he instigate the break-ups, even if you were the one to walk away? Is he continuing that type of behavior but more aggressively now that he is 'stuck' in a marriage he can't get out of as easily?

What ever you decide, take care of yourself. Try not to allow this to affect your schooling and what you are trying to do to better your future. Good luck.