[VintageHeart93]

I'm almost finished with my freshman year, and to sum it up it was bad. When I first came to the school I made lots of friends and I was starting to enjoy it, but then my roommate yells at me and calls me inconsiderate. When I try to fix the problem, address it, she tries to take over. I'm not a mean person, when I know I'm wrong, I admit I'm wrong. But, she ended up treating me badly. She talked badly about me to other girls, and assumed I did the same. I ended up moving out and stopped making effort to meet people. My new roommate is okay. Better than the one I had before. We talk, we laugh, etc but now I find that she's stealing my stuff. She's took my flat iron, my shampoo and conditioner, and my bottle of lotion. When I ask if she takes it, she says no. I went to the head RA we're going to talk about it after spring break, but I just don't want it to be like my last roommate.

As for friends, I have some. The friends I made in the beginning of school, I stopped talking to (only talking to 2). I've made one new friend and I hang out with her and my old friend all the time. But, after I while they began to gang up on me, make me feel like a child, etc. So, I decide to not hang out with them as much. I talk to a lot of people but I don't hang with a lot of them. I'm a theater major, but I not in any play or anything yet. No one ever comes see me in my dorm, I always go see someone. I would sometimes hang out and stay in my room and just study. It feels so boring, and my college is in a tiny city.

When I envision college, I intend to make lots of friends, they come to see me, they knock on my door and hang out with me in my room, we all go out somewhere every night, while I still maintain my grades. But, all I've been this year is upset because it just feels like high school all over again. That's not what I want it to be like. I want to transfer I think, but my father believes that it's me not the college. To sum it up, he says I need to grow up. I'm crying because I don't know what to do. My GPA is a lot better than high school and a lot of my friends, it's not like I'm doing badly. I'm in an honor college now, I've applied for scholarships, all signs that I might stay here next fall. My theater teacher says I should become more involved in the theater. My dad also told me that I'd grow and become more independent than if I was with my old friends.

I just don't know what to do anymore. This whole thing is making me so upset because everyone says it's me when I never do anything bad, but bad things keep happening to me here. All my friends are enjoying college and I never here them talk about bad stuff at their college. My boyfriend & dad says it's because they let it go get over it. They enjoy the good not the bad. Help me please?

[JudyKayTee]

How was high school? I think sometimes people think college is sort of a whole new world, new personalities, but it's not - it's the same personalities in a different setting. Mean people don't turn nice between high school and college.

Perhaps your boyfriend and father are right - let it go and keep busy.

However, that doesn't solve the problem of stealing. That needs to be addressed.

Would it make sense to transfer to another college?

[VintageHeart93]

I changed high schools in the after my tenth grade year. I was whiny in HS, I was focused on the wrong things and on what was going to happen in the future. My GPA suffered a lot after my sophomore year, and I got into some trouble. I had a lot of emotional drama my senior year. So I promised myself, I wouldn't be afraid to be myself in college..

[Fr_Chuck]

You seem to have some college dream from "Animal House" or some other TV movie

College is mostly hard work, long hours at the library, late night study. Not party and late night and good grades.

Party, yes some, but not all the time

[JudyKayTee]

Although you promised yourself you would change after high school... did you?

[J_9]

You seem to have an unrealistic view of what college life is really like.

[VintageHeart93]

I've changed some.. but not a lot. My grades are better, and I'm a little more assertive then I was in High School. Not as much as I want to be, but I'm making some progress.. I don't intend to go to parties (I've only been to one, didn't like it), I'm not the party type, just hang out and talk about stuff and do random stuff.. be more outgoing. I was was out the shell, but then I retreated back in it, after problems started.

[aliseaodo]

You said your college is in a small city? Maybe you could get like a part time job at like a coffee house, or a sandwich shop or something like that. It might be a good way to meet new people, and work on your independence. Also, if you were interested, maybe a sorority is something you could look into... and don't forget, this is just the first year. You'll be signing up for different classes, and as you go further along, you'll have classes with people that have the same major as you, possibly the same interests.

In my day, freshman were really the only ones who stayed in the dorms (not counting the RA of course), so you may be moving to an apartment complex of some sort, or renting a room in a house with other students, or the sorority house if you went that direction... in other words, don't give up! You've really just stuck your toe into the college life. It can get better!

[slapshot_oi]

When I envision college, I intend to make lots of friends, they come to see me, they knock on my door and hang out with me in my room, we all go out somewhere every night, while I still maintain my grades.

Good news, college can and should be like that, if it's not, you need to make a change. I'm with you, transferring is a good option. I transferred myself, and once I did, I was much happier.

The best part about college is self discovery, and making friends and finding things to do is a huge part of that.

Consider renting an apartment instead of living in the dorms. You'll have more control over your living situation and you won't have to deal with an RA. It really makes a world of difference.