[Pia357]

I've been severely depressed for almost a week now since he left without saying goodbye, or anything. Yesterday was my birthday and I refused to go out to celebrate with friends and family, preferring to be home alone, with my wine and anti-depressants, crying.

This is not my first breakup, and as much as I myself and people around me expect me to be able to deal with it better now, I simply can't, because I wholeheartedly believe that there's no one else who could be as good to me as him, especially comparing him to my previous ex.

I have been (or was) in a relationship with this super nice guy for 1 year and 4 months. Although it wasn't long, but it was pretty intense. We started living together a few weeks after deciding to be a couple. It was pretty fast yes, but it felt right, maybe because we were friends for 4 years before (we share the same best friend) and because I was so depressed from my previous (disastrous) relationship and I saw him as a rescuer, not the right reason I know, but I grew to love him very deeply after he's proved his sincere love to me. I wasn't even attracted to him physically before (that's why we never went out during those 4 years), but the fact that he maintained his crush on me for all those years and being a super friend/boyfriend that he was, I thought I've found my true love. The list of what he's done for me is endless, ranging from massaging my feet and my head almost everyday after my stressful days, cooking, cleaning, listening to all my whining, carrying me if I can't walk, to helping research for my work, etc.

I have had depression for quite a long time, since my early teens, and unfairly, I took it out on him. I was too harsh for his small mistakes because of my unresolved issues with my ex. We're also on different stages in life, although we're just a few years apart. I'm quite successful in my career, earning four times more than a regular office worker, while he just started in his new career, and earning minimum salary for a white collar. I don't have to struggle in my jobs anymore. I'm already almost on the top. I don't need practice. I just need love and attention. He's struggling to get ahead. He's often on his computer practicing his skills. He said he can be single and alone for the rest of his life as long as he has his computer. Without me or any girlfriend, he wouldn't have to struggle financially. He can survive on his own.

Me, I've come to the point where success and money doesn't mean anything anymore without someone to share it with. As an overachiever, I'm also a super control freak (as our best friend put it). So I guess the reasons he left are 1. He felt suffocated from my pushes. 2. He felt as a failure for being unable to make (a depressed person like) me happy as he promised me before.
We argued about small things (that we thought matter to us) often lately. I kicked him out of my flat once (and went back to his place a few days after to beg him back) and he left by himself once. But we always made up and got through it. This past Thursday, we argued again. I didn't think it was a big deal. He lied to me and pretended that everything was OK between us so that I could let us both go to work in the morning. Throughout the day he didn't pick up my calls, and I went back home to find the place half empty, most of his stuff gone, sending me into a panic attack (because we moved in to this new place together, and I'm supposed to live there alone now)

I know we love each other very much. Even our mutual friends told me they don't think he could love anyone else as much as he loves me, but we misunderstood each other and unintentionally hurting each other a lot. Our friends told me the only thing I could do is to wait for him. Give him time. I thought even if we permanently broke up, we still had to contact each other at least once to arrange a meeting to return each other's stuff, even for that, he just shut down completely. His parents were also worried when he turned off his phone for days.

He's the best thing in my life. It's selfish I know that I want him back. It was just 5 days that he said he loved me for the last time, surely he can't change so fast? Do I stand a chance if I improve myself and prove it to him? What do I do? Wait for weeks and then approach him again? Please help, he's the love of my life.

[cashking89]

He doesn't love you... you got to accept and find true love baby

[mmresd]

He might love you, but he loves himself more, which is completely fine. You have dumped a lot of stress on his life and considering that he is not in a stable position such as yourself he might have gotten overwhelmed. You need to respect his choice, don't try to find him, he will talk to you when he is ready. Also, do not wait for him, treat this as a break up and start moving on.

[talaniman]

Work on yourself, just in case he decides to take a second look, but you may have a lot on your hands just getting to a healthy place, so start now, and good luck.