[supriti.mehra]

Guys I need honest help. My father was married to an another women before my mother, with whom he has 2 children, both are living with their mother only, then my dad divorced her and married my mom and I was born... We are still in contact with my step sister and brother then come to my home to meet us.
I have met a great person and a very dear friend of mine in college, he didn't knew much about me, we started loving each other now after 3 yrs of great frndship, there is great understanding between us and he respects me a lot, and thinks that m a very good person... Every thing is great except one lie that I told him 9 months ago, that my real mother is the one my dad married earlier, and that I'm living with my step mom, probably to get his sympathyy, I told him that my present mom is really great and she loves me a lot... (ofcourse she loves me she is my real mom) now I feel sooooooooooooo guilty, I told this just get his sympathy... I know that was crazy, I know that... These days m feeling like m in a prison, I need to tell him everything but don't know how.. How will he react on my lie... My act was dumb and stupid... Please guys help/
I cannot just tell him that he misunderstood, because, we have talked about it quite a few times, he being sympathetic to me, asked me about my mom, and I always finished off the topic by saying that I considder my present mom as the real one and I don't want to talk about the woman my dad married earlier... I messed everything.. Now there is no safe way to escape, I need to tell him bt m so afraid, my whole picture that is in his mind will be broken... I don't want to say anymore lies... But I don't have courage to say the truth as well... please give me good suggestions.

I am ashamed of my act, I have been all honest with him expect this... I feel guilty for my mom... I can't face her... I hve got the real lesson... I really love this guy, and he wants to marrry me.. Is there any possibility of things being fine again..

[Fr_Chuck]

You are going to have to either tell him or just break up with him, since at some point the truth will come out if you keep seeing him. Explain that you lied and it was wrong, plus you lied each time you talked about it and did not tell the truth, and you continue the lie every day you do not correct it.

Plus how will your mom feel if this blows up and he talks to her about it?

[DoulaLC]

Come clean on it quickly... as in the next couple of days. Dwelling on it more will only cause you more anxiety and prolong the inevitable.

Just tell him what you said here basically. You know it was dumb, you guess you just wanted to get some sympathy when you first met, and it just got out of hand. Acknowledge that you should have said something much sooner but were afraid of how he might take it and as time went on it got more and more difficult.

You certainly don't want to start a marriage with secrets, especially since there is no way this one could be kept much longer.

Hopefully he will just see it as you were immature and the situation just snowballed, and not wonder what else you may have lied about.

[kyleranne123]

I don't get it

[WisperWill70]

You have to fess up now, and hopefully , with the admission that you wanted his sympathy and went about it in the wrong way, he will understand and forgive you. "I feel really guilty and horrible about this... I told you a lie that is so dumb and stupid and i don't even know why I did... " -- The way you said it here is sympathetic -- just be honest.

If this guy loves you there's a chance he will be able to hear you and understand. (After all this is not a lie about other partners, some life-altering secret or child)

It's possible that your mom will never find out about this --- and you guys can move forward.

You do NOT want to keep this HUGE lie for very long and if you think you've gotten serious enough for marriage.. it must come out now!

Good luck.

[kyleranne123]

Can someone tell me what is so big about the lie I don't get the lie

[VictoriousCat]

Just tell him you lied and your sorry. I don't know what else to do other than that. Honesty is always right...

[WisperWill70]

Kyleranne123 I suggest you read the posts of the OP carefully before asking questions! She lied about who her real mother is; --saying that her biological mother is her step-mom she's staying with and that her father's previous wife is her mum.

[kyleranne123]

What is so bad about that though

[WisperWill70]

what is so bad about that though

What is the matter with you? Because lying about who one's parents are is a huge lie. It matters because that's an elemental part of who you are especially if your real parent is alive and the person you're lying about is alive also and you are introducing someone new to the family. It also matters because the truth comes out eventually. Also because if you have children, certain matters of heredity and health become important. I can't honestly believe you don't understand why that's "bad" -- incredible!

[kyleranne123]

OK sorry my bad