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danas200 · Mar 3, 2012, 02:28 PM

I've been given notice of stalking someone I was daring and helping raise her child for over 8 years. We broke up and she wouldn't let me say goodbye to her daughter. I wrote her two cards and tried calling once only to have police sight me for stalking. I'm going to court in a while for this, I'm told sending two greeting cards doesn't meet the required standards for Stalking so should be dismissed. I hired an attorney just in case, my question; can I seek legal costs if this charge is dismissed? I've been under its shadow for the last month and causes me anxiety so its had its affect even thought it doesn't seem warranted in my case since I'm not threatening her in anyway. Any ideas?

Fr_Chuck · Mar 3, 2012, 03:41 PM

No you can not sue, the person merely files a report, it is the DA that will decide if there is enough evidence to support the stalking. With that said, I am sure the DA thinks there is more to this than just that.

ScottGem · Mar 3, 2012, 04:37 PM

Agreed Stalking is a criminal charge, not civil. So the local prosecutor is choosing to prosecute. Based on what you said, there doesn't seem to be enough to prosecute, so I would suspect there is more to this story and your attorney should be asking why this is being prosecuted.

danas200 · Mar 3, 2012, 05:17 PM

Can't say how she got this done other then her new boy friend is a state investigator of doctors and knows a lot of people I'm guessing. I'm also seeking to join this hearing with a visitation as psychological parents under Oregon law. This I decided after the stalking charge since I've been asked by the child's mother to be her father over the years I've done just that. Been a father in all ways financial, psychological and mentoring her for 8 years. I'll put my best case forward and let the court decide what I can and can't do in this child's life. Thanks for your point of view.

ScottGem · Mar 4, 2012, 08:36 AM

First, you are talking apples and oranges. Again, Stalking is a criminal issue. Your being a part of this child's life is a Family Law issue and any attempt to "join this hearing with a visitation" will not be allowed. You need to talk to your attorney about strategy.

And, again, your attorney needs to find out why this case is being prosecuted.

If you want to pursue visitation, you will need to do that separately, but I would wait until after the stalking case is resolved.

danas200 · Mar 4, 2012, 08:46 AM

ScottGem. It was my attorney who came up with seeking to join these two hearing which I assume he felt he could accomplish. Your comment; "your attorney needs to find out why this case is being prosecuted" How does he do this? I've read the papers served to me, they have copies of the two greeting cards I sent to the 10 year old daughter I had been fathering. And spoke of one phone call I had seeking to recover my bike and laptop I left there. I've not had any contacts since this notice. What does one do to defend ones self in a stalking hearing? Might my lawyer be off track?

cdad · Mar 4, 2012, 08:47 AM

Lets get this clear. Stalking is only a criminal issue when it raises to the level of committing a crime. In a domestic situation you can use a charge of stalking to garner a restraining order without it being a criminal charge.

To OP: You can ask in your response to the courts that the opposing side pay your legal fees if proven innocent. But even with such an award you are still liable to your lawyer for the charges. It does not release you from payment. But your lawyer can pursue it through legal means for collection from the other party.

ScottGem · Mar 4, 2012, 09:03 AM

Re: Califdad's comment. Is the hearing to get a Restraining Order or you being charged with the crime of Stalking? I was going under the assumption that you were being charged with the crime.

If they are just going after an RO, then your attorney's strategy may be correct. And the evidence may be sufficient.