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yayforgiraffes · Mar 2, 2012, 07:50 AM

All right here's the scoop. I'm 18 and young and I know it. My boyfriend is enlisted in the army and I'm currently enlisting. My boyfriend is going to afganistan in February and he's leaving for 9 months(which isn't bad but still sucks) well I'm leaving for basic training soon and won't be back until after he leaves. Not only will I not be able to see him but I will be stationed in a completely different state then him. So we figured we will get married so we can be together and live together. We've been together for a good 3 or 4 years and we were thinking about getting married before he deployed but now were thinking we should before I leave for basic. My question is what do you guys think of that I mean I know I want to get married because we've been through so much together and I know he loves me as much as I love him but then again I think I'm 18 and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. It's a cross roads and I would love some input on how you guys feel about it.

odinn7 · Mar 2, 2012, 08:07 AM

Although I understand the reasoning behind you 2 wanting to get married now, it also seems to me like you both are just kind of rushing into it... just to get it done. Lots of things can change over the next few years... maybe just wait it out and see how things go.

Look at it this way, do you really want to get married just to be away from each other for the next however many months or years?

Cat1864 · Mar 2, 2012, 08:36 AM

I need two points cleared up before I can give any advice other than if you aren't sure then wait.

When is he deploying to Afghanistan? February?
When do you start basic training?

Plus, where does your worry about a possible pregnancy fit into your decision making?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens...hh-640206.html

yayforgiraffes · Mar 2, 2012, 12:19 PM

Cat 1864 I went to the doctors and they said it was all the coffee I've been drinking and the massive weight loss I have progressed in the last month so yeah. Also unlike a lot of young girls that think their pregnant instead of thinking my life is over at least I want to do something with myself. I went with the I could possibly not be so I'm going to plan the future I've always wanted for myself. IF I was Im 18 years old with a year left to go on my associates degree so I would have had a back up plan. SO therefore there is no pregnancy and he deploys the beginning of February and I leave for basic sometime in August.

Mandyjacobs · May 8, 2012, 10:26 AM

That's a tough place to be... but I caution you to really think about what you want before you marry. I know it's hard to understand now but you are a completely different person in your twenties or even early thirties than now at 18... Meaning you will grow and learn more about what you want and whet makes you happy. I don't see the harm in waiting... if you both continue to keep the relationship strong from a distance then you will be that much more better off for it. Be young... enjoy this time... you can't get it back! Good luck!

Fr_Chuck · May 8, 2012, 11:21 AM

Not what you want to hear but, the serious odds of a army couple married and off to separate duty stations, basic and war zone is about none. I have seen every relationship like this end bad, I guess some worked but I have not seen any.

How jealous are you and is he, will he judge you by what he sees female army members dong there, will you judge him by what you see men in basic doing ?

Has it been discussed about being stationed in same area latter after you complete AIT and your advanced training, Does both of your MOS allow to be stationed together ?