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himos93 · Feb 29, 2012, 02:13 PM

So I knew this girl from about 9 months ago. We started as regular friends who just chatted normaly.
Then one day several months later we met and it seemed like both of us suddenly felt something special. She apparently couldn't resist so she asked to see me the next day immediately .From that day on, it was nothing but flirting, long night calls and simply just FUN. I told her how I feel and she was very satisfied about it. She said we'll know each other more and then we'll see how it goes.I was OK with the idea.
After just over a month from that day we first clicked, I told her how we should get serious and be in a relationship. She said she knows me very well at that time and she likes me and everything but she still isn't ready for a relationship. From that day, she backed off a bit and wasn't so open like before. We still talk just not as much as before. I asked her several times "what's wrong?" she would say nothing and that there's nothing wrong with me its just that its something to do with her. It's been like this for a month now but there isn't much progress yet :(

It would really help if anyone would give me advice or tips or any sort of support in this. Thanks

indya · Mar 26, 2012, 10:01 PM

IF she says she isn't ready, she isn't ready. There isn't much you can do about it. From what you've said here, looks like she's letting you down slowly. She isn't ready for a relationship with you. And is not serious about you.

Its better that you stop pursuing her.

stephen136 · Mar 27, 2012, 07:06 AM

Yeah it sounds like she has you as the backup guy . She is obviously seeing other men and isn't ready to settle down. Break contact with her for a while and act like your not so interested and I bet she will start chasing you.

Jake2008 · Mar 27, 2012, 07:58 AM

It is actually refreshing to hear of a relationship that involves two people getting to know each other over time, before any commitment other than friendship.

It is natural that one party or the other is moving along a little faster than the other, and wants more than the other is willing to give at this time.

The plus side of this is, when and if she does decide to make a commitment, she will be ready, for all the right reasons. She is getting to know you, and being very responsible about it.

The worst thing you can do is force the issue, and assume something is 'wrong' because she is not moving along as quickly as you would like her to be. Even though it all adds up (to you) that the relationship should be more solid, it does not add up that way for her.

If you push now, you will lose, because obviously she is not going to be rushed into something she is not ready for, simply because you are.

mmresd · Mar 27, 2012, 10:18 AM

You need to back off, give her some breathing space, and let her make the next move. You have stated your intentions, it is her turn to decide whether she wants to accept your terms, or is simply not interested. Hope for the best, be ready for the worse. Good Luck.

talaniman · Mar 28, 2012, 12:13 PM

When a female rejects you, then you don't keep chasing her, you look for romance elsewhere. Keep her as a friend, why not? And just a friend, while you do other things you enjoy.

Talaniman Rule - Never get stuck on some one who isn't as stuck on you.

Friend zone isn't bad, but not every day, you will never even have time to look for better options for romance, if you spend all your free time with some one that's not ready for what you are.