[Stevo125]

Hi.

I know my girlfriend loves me, and she knows I love her. We have been only dating for 4 months however. I am at a major conflict with my head and I really need advice. Me and her fight, a lot. Actually, she gets mad at me a lot, for stupid **** that she should NOT get mad at me for. After we argue we apologize, but its still not the same.

She dated her ex for 7 months about, however 3 of those months was him away in Europe before he moved and they broke up. She used to talk to me about how much of an ******* he was while they dated (we were friends at the time) and how badly he treated her. She was obsessed with him, and she knows it and has told me, she was just so afraid he would break up with her that she kept her mouth shut. He did so many things that made her mad, but she didn't argue with him just so he wouldn't get mad at her.

However, here is what I hate. The things I do, which are much less ****ed up then what he has done, she gets mad at, and yells at me. This makes me so angry, because I treat her like a princess and she doesn't seem to want to be with me as much as I do.Then I get confused because she says how much she loves me, and gets incredibly clingy and always wants to hang, which isn't so bad. Its also the stupid little things that anger me, like how she hates certain movies, but a movie that he wanted her to watch even though she didn't want to and did, and a movie I want her to watch but she won't.. its the little things I don't know..

I never get mad at her out loud, and I treat her perfectly. I drive 30 minutes to see her everyday almost, and walk half a mile to her house. *because she doesn't have a car* and I try so hard to make her happy, but why does she treat me with less respect than her ex? It annoys me behind belief and I need help..

[odinn7]

You need to sit her down and talk to her... and explain what's going on in your head. If you two can't get this straight, you might as well call it quits now because it's not going to get any better. The longer you let this go and sit on it, the more it will eat at you and pi$$ you off. Eventually it will become too much for you to deal with.

[talaniman]

Sorry guy you got with a female who was still angry from her last relationship, and has resentments because she hasn't healed properly for another healthy relationship. A REBOUND for sure, just to have some one close while she gets through this. This is made much worse when you say nothing, because you assumed she was ready, but was NOT!

This always happens when we jump from one person to another with no proper healing time in between. Of course she takes her anger out on you, because you are her crutch, an emotional tampon, because you believe her words of love and apology, and say nothing about your frustrations.

Treating her like a princess is noble of you but does nothing to help her get over the ex, and treat you like a prince. Seldom do rebounds last long, or are any fun at all. Its not fair, but you were blinded by your own feelings for your friend that you have allowed this to happen.

Talaniman Rule - Never get involved with some one that just broke up a relationship.

She is treating you the way the ex treated her, and as you see, you are reacting as she did, keeping your mouth shut because you are afraid she will dump you. I would tell this one to lets go back to friends, and heal yourself, and let her heal also. Or else the anger, and frustrations turn to resentments and hatred. Then you lose a friend and a girl, but learn a lesson, and it's a blessing in disguise.

Rebound seldom end well so talk now and make sure she knows you will not tolerate the disrespect, and temper from her. That's the least you can do for yourself, but be warned to say what you mean, and MEAN what you say.

Good luck, you will surely need it!

[lovelyness14]

Well its obvious she still has feeling for her ex, I know its hard to except but a lot of people go through getting over their ex. She also sees things in him that she can't see in you and that makes her act the way she does, but she likes the idea of having someone their to treat her like a princess. And if she continues with this its better to just stay friends and find someone that will except you, and treat you the way you should be treated cause what she's doing now is not cool, she's taking advantage of you right before your eyes but you want her too much to see it, this can only end badly, so just try to move on to someone that won't wish you were her ex... hope this helped, and good luck.

[mmresd]

This has nothing to do with her. Seems like you are having self esteem and confidence issues. Who cares about how they got along?? That relationship is in the past, every relationship is different buddy. Enjoy it now, get out of your head, and enjoy your girlfriend... before she leaves you, which she will if you keep this up, I guarantee it.

[celticfc]

I think you have a little confidence issuses stand up for yourself tell her how you feel she still has feelings for the ex and she is mad with him and she isn't scared of you because you don't say anything.sit down and have a talk but I will not garuntee she will understand but it does sound like you need a little more confidence in yourself.

[7thBlackCrystal]

I have the same problem, but it's kind of different. My girlfriend just broke up with me because she says "things arent working out" and that we're better off as "Friends."
But instead of saying it to me in person, she sent it to me in an email via Facebook, and right after she said "We're better off as friends" She blocked me from her acount.
I thought I screwed up somehow, I got mad at her whenever she compared me to her ex. And she says "Oh. you dont understand, you havent been through what I have, my ex cheated on me even though we were together for 8 months."
I thought it was my fault for not being understanding. But now, I don't know anymore. Her friends came up to me and told me that she likes me, but she likes her ex more ( which is fraustrating, because I treated her like she was the world to me. Her ex cheated on her and she still chose her ex over me. ) She wouldn't tell me in my face that she love her ex more than me. But she sent a email to her friends ( which they showed me ) saying that I was just the second best guy and all I am was just a mistake.
I can honestly say that I know how you feel, I don't know why she would chose her ex over me, I sacraficed so much just to be with her. And now... she's willing to go back with her ex if he asked her out. Knowing that he once cheated on her.
I just wish she told me the truth. No secrets. Everything.