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    good_gal's Avatar
    good_gal Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 22, 2012, 04:18 PM
    If I am 14 and my boyfriend is 16...
    K so I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 16.And he is experencied I'm not he asked me about doing something I said I don't know but he never gets to c me we hardly talk but when we do c each other he wants to just makeout and I love him and he says he does I'm not sure if I should stay with him? Also he will soon be 17. I just turned 14 and we have only dated for about a month now he is a nice guy we like the same things are cute togeether I will not tell my mom she will freak!
    But I'm not sure do you have any ideas to keep us together? I don't want to go that far with him yet but I'm considering it...
    Can u please help me think of something to keep us together?
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #2

    Feb 22, 2012, 04:45 PM
    Hi good_gal,

    Take a look at what you have said. He is experienced and wants to do things that you don't want to. Do you think that the two of you won't stay together if you don't do these things? Is that why you are considering it? Has he in anyway made you feel that he would leave and find someone else if you don't do these things?

    Never, Never, Never should you do something that you know is not right for you just because some guy wants you to. You would regret it. You could end up with big problems... possible pregnancy for example if things went too far.

    You have to look at this with your head and not your heart. Yes, he may be a nice guy, and you may be cute together, but if you feel any pressure from him, then let him go.

    IF he really cares about you, and your well-being, he won't suggest that you do anything that could cause problems for you. He would want to show you how much he respects you by not putting any pressure on you. You have been dating only one month. This boy is going to be trouble for you if he is asking you to do things that you don't want to.

    I know it can be exciting and nice to have an older guy be interested in you, but he has shown that he is only interested in what he can get from you.

    If you still aren't sure, put it to the test:

    Tell him that you aren't ready to do these things and that you don't know when you will be... probably not until you are older. See what he says to you. His response, either soon after you say it, or after a bit of time, will let you know if he really cares about you or if he is more interested in what he wants.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #3

    Feb 22, 2012, 05:38 PM
    Good gal, like Doula said, you shouldn't feel pressured to do anything you aren't sure about or don't want to do.

    You need to talk to your mother. Yes, she may freak out, but if you are considering having sex then you need to be fully aware of what you are doing and act maturely. Hiding it from your mother will make things worse when she finds out.

    It is a warning sign that all he wants to do is make-out when you are together. You may have things in common, but he doesn't seem interested in sharing them.

    Personally, I would let him know that I wanted to do something other than making out and see if he is willing to make other plans. If he doesn't, then he is looking for someone who he can play adult games with.

    A relationship is more than looking cute together and making out. It is talking and sharing and doing things together that both people like and are comfortable with.
    PoisionNikki's Avatar
    PoisionNikki Posts: 8, Reputation: -3
    New Member
     
    #4

    Feb 29, 2012, 08:29 PM
    Sex will not make him keep you, If he loves you, he will actually not want to make you do anything you don't want to do.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #5

    Feb 29, 2012, 11:52 PM
    Why would your mother freak? Are you not allowed to date? Sneaking around behind your parents backs is WRONG, WRONG WRONG! If you are doing something you can't tell your parents about then you shouldn't be doing it.

    Please read your previous answers as well. It does not appear this guy really cares about you.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #6

    Mar 1, 2012, 05:54 AM
    Does not sound like you are dating him, sounds like you meet and he wants to make out or more. We call that a booty call if you are not paid and a hooker if you are paid.
    Dating means you go places and do things, eating out, movies, even hanging at the mall and things.

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