[Katie5092]

So, 4 years ago I met a guy. He was everything I wanted and made me the happiest person in the world. I had never felt love the way I did from him. But after falling so hard for one another I became pregnant. He was super supportive of whatever I chose to do. I was only 19, I couldn't support the child the way I knew it would deserve. I was only making minimum wadge, I lived with roommates, I didn't have the support of my parents, I had nothing to offer a baby. We decided to terminate the pregnancy and stayed together.

At first I thought I was okay. But as time went on I started to become more and more distant from him. He wasn't stupid and immediately noticed because we were living together. It got to the point where we would never have sex. So when the opportunity came for him to move out and move in with some friends, I assured him that I would stay with him but I thought it would be better for our relationship if we didn't live together.

Needless to say, I was wrong. Nothing got better, we just became more distant and finally broke up. He was devastated but I wasn't. Months passed and he began to get over me. But one day I woke up and realized I wanted him back, but he was so shut down emotionally that I just ended up getting more hurt. After much fighting and debate we tried again but it just didn't work. Everything seemed forced and eventually we broke up once again.

All of this happened over the course of 3 years. He is now moved away and we never see each other. I find myself thinking about him all the time, and we still talk. When we do see each other its really comforting and he still feels like home. I don't know what I should do. Neither of us are seeing anyone else and agree there is still something there.

After all the heart ache, and all the time that has passed, neither of us have gotten involved with anyone else because it just doesn't seem right. And being back together still doesn't feel 100% right. I don't know if I should continue to talk to him and continue to keep thinking that there is a reason why nobody else has come into either of our lives or if I should just burn my bridges and move on with my life.

Opinions?

[DoulaLC]

You're at a stalemate and neither of you are moving forward. You could talk to him and just ask him if he wants to try it again. If so, I'd consider some couples counseling. It is not just for married couples. You may find that an outside person is able to help both of you deal with the issues from your past and be able to move forward, either with each other or eventually into new, healthy relationships with others.

If it appears that it just isn't going to work, no matter how much you try, best to let it go. Sometimes relationships are there for just a short time. You change and grow, and the relationship doesn't. It serves a purpose, we hopefully learn something, and move on. It doesn't mean you have to forget him, but that you will be able to look at the relationship as a stepping stone as you move forward.