[JMA0629]

I'd been with this girl for a little over 5 years now, I'm currently 24. She was the first girl I've ever loved and I prepared myself to want to be with her for the rest of my life. Recently I've had to move around and be apart from her because of my job. She's still in college so she can't just move around as well with me.

Because of this, she's been starting to get depressed about it, and can't handle the distance. I do understand her but at the same time I figured since we'd been together for so long already then a little distance couldn't tear us apart. This move started about a year ago.

Now she's been telling me that it's not working out, that she wants to "try new things" and such. It devastated me, it's hard to comprehend why you'd want to throw away such a good relationship over something so little. Plus, just a few days ago she had been asking me to come down and I said I would. But she turned around and took that back and said she wanted to try things with this guy she had met in college.

To me 5 years overcomes a guy you've met for a month. I could be wrong though.

I guess just any input on how I should move on from this? I could handle being dumped, sure, but not so abruptly and not because of some random guy.

Maybe you ladies have a side to this that you can explain, some hints, some advice. I just really don't want to fall into depression from something like this.

[ForrestAveE]

Ok, hard one to answer, but I have some experience in this, I had a girlfriend for 4+ years, she too was my first love and someone I met in college. After school, we both ended up moving to different parts of the country and for a while we tried to do the long distance thing, it did not work out well and we broke up. After two years apart I am finally understanding what happened between us, she was in the position you are where she wanted to stay together and did not understand breaking up, I was in the position your girlfriend is in and wanted to 'try other things'. I understand this is hard, but I would suggest letting her try it with this other guy, I know it may be hard to accept, but this may be something she has to do. I am not suggesting you be OK with it or take her back if it does not work out for her, but I will tell you, it is probably your only course of action right now. Take some time for yourself, you can stay in contact with her, but DO NOT let her CONSUME your life. Find SOMETHING to consume your mind with, improve yourself, work out, learn another language, go on a trip by yourself. If you sit at home and think about her nothing good WILL EVER HAPPEN. You won't be attactive to her or anyone else. If someone else comes along you can date them, but it will surely take a while for you to get over her if you do not end up back together. The most important thing you can do is improve yourself, that is the best way for something good to happen.

[indya]

Long distance relationships are really hard to keep up. I am sure you remember the old saying "out of sight, out of mind". Perhaps this is what has happened in your case.

Since your girlfriend is already found some new guy, to pursue this relation would be pointless.

I know you must be deeply hurt, and it will take time for you to completely move on. But you must try to do so. Keep yourself busy at all times, hang out with friends, meet knew people, learn to do something new, get a make over, try out some sports or physical exercise. Don't give yourself a chance to think about her.