[crush111]

My ex broke up with me, but we said we'd still be friends, I was stupid and begged for her to come back the first couple of days but she said she couldn't go through this again because it was already too hard.
Let me give some background info...
We dated for almost 3 years, it was great the first year and a half, we had that spark and we just clicked. After awhile I started to feel like I didn't care for her like I used to, mostly every time we'd have sex and she would stay the night my heart felt like it just wasn't there. I still really cared for her, she was my best friend, she was my shoulder to lean on, the person who would help me through anything.
Off and on I would love her to death then I felt like we shouldn't be in a relationship, we would always get in arguments over the littlest things (mostly started with me). We argued about my ex, jobs, friends, PDA, driving, almost anything. We hung out pretty much everyday, sometimes she'd hang with her friends or I'd go with her. We didn't go out much, we did the same thing everyday, I'm not very good with PDA and she loves it, there was a lack of romance and so many arguments.
We knew it wouldn't last, we knew eventually one of us would end it, and so she was the stronger one and did it. It broke my heart, weirdly, even though I didn't feel the same anymore either, she said she was unhappy for awhile and it was mostly because of the arguing.
After the break up we were friends, we talked and I told her I moved on I don't want to be with her and I just really want her friendship, she doesn't have to worry about giving me the wrong idea because I'm over it all. And she said she was the same, she moved on and whatever I do with my life is none of her business (ex. Talk to my other exgirlfriend, date other people). When I think about her being with someone else my stomach doesn't churn and get all knotted like it used to when I thought about it, and I guess it's the same for her, she never really talked about the break up much and how she felt, so it was mostly me who did the talking.
But now I feel like I still care for her, and I don't know in what way, I dream about her every night that involves us either getting back together or close to it. I hate waking up because my heart just pounds and my stomach feels knotted, I told her I moved on and I felt like I have, I feel like she can date someone else and ill be OK with it.
So why do I still feel like I want her back, when I doubt she even wants me back?


And yes I'm getting out there and doing stuff with friends and everything.

Sorry this is so long. I'm just so confused.

[indya]

Moving on after a break up isn't instant. It takes a certain amount of time to fully move on and not care about what happens in the other person's life.

Your dreams could just be a reflection of your subconscious mind, where it seems you still have a little thought of getting back together lurking around.

If you have those dreams and thoughts, then do non act on them if you really want to move on. Also, I think you should take a break from this girl too, no friendship or contact for a while. This way your mind will get away from her.

After a short no-contact break, you can truly get back together as friends.