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Robb138 · Feb 12, 2012, 03:26 AM

My friend left her husband after a case of domestic violence in N.C. After her and I established residency together in Texas, she became pregnant. In the 27th week of the pregnancy she decided to return to her abusive marriage. She now wants him to be the legal father. I know I can stop that through DNA testing. My question is will the custudy case take place in Texas or N. Carolina?

cdad · Feb 12, 2012, 04:42 AM

When the child is born the husband will be the legal presumed father. There is nothig you can do about that. After that time if you seek to challenge that assumption then it will take place in North Carolina and you will be subject to the laws of that State.

Robb138 · Feb 12, 2012, 06:37 AM

Regardless of her legal residency? I know how to stop her from keeping me from our child. I'm concerned about the custody case. And will thei recent violent episodes benefit me.

AK lawyer · Feb 12, 2012, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by Robb138

Regardless of her legal residency? ...

Jurisdiction to determine custody of a new-born child is in the state where the child is born. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uniform...nforcement_Act

" ... 'Home state' is defined as the "state in which a child lived with a parent or a person acting as a parent for at least six consecutive months immediately before the commencement of a child-custody proceeding. In the case of a child less than six months of age, the term means the state in which the child lived from birth with any of the persons mentioned.. . "

Robb138 · Feb 12, 2012, 07:48 AM

I'm going to need help finding an Attorney in Fayettville N.C. that accepts payment plans. The travel expenses alone are going to be ridiculous. Any suggestions. This is my first child I have asked for joint custody but she is trying to get the baby military benefits. I have excellent coverage at my work and life insurance.

AK lawyer · Feb 12, 2012, 08:17 AM

Originally Posted by Robb138

... The travel expenses alone are going to be rediculous. Any suggestions. ...

You should be able to accomplish much of this litigation without actually going there. It may be possible to negotiiate a settlement once you have filed a lawsuit. If you are awarded visitiation, however travel costs will be a consideration. Don't forget, however, that you will be paying child support as well.

Ask yourself this: wouldn't it be better all around if you were to agree that he be the "legal father"? In effect, an "open" step-parent adoption, perhaps with some right to visit the child from time-to-time?

Robb138 · Feb 12, 2012, 08:31 AM

Child support is a responsibility not a burden. In all fairness, as well as taking all things into consideration. I firmly believe that I will provide a more consistently loving, and without question a safer home. They have a well documented violent relationship, and its only a matter of time before he begins to take it out on the child that isn't his. He already sent me a message 3 months into her pregnancy while she was still here that he hoped and prayed we lost our baby.

cdad · Feb 12, 2012, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by Robb138

Child support is a responsibility not a burden. In all fairness, as well as taking all things into consideration. I firmly believe that I will provide a more consistently loving, and without question a safer home. They have a well documented violent relationship, and its only a matter of time before he begins to take it out on the child that isn't his. He already sent me a message 3 months into her pregnancy while she was still here that he hoped and prayed we lost our baby.

Are you still in contact with her? How is it that your going to know when the child is born?

Robb138 · Feb 12, 2012, 08:42 AM

I spoke with her yesterday. She is making it hard though. I am in constent contact with her mother, she appears to be moraly on my side. Also I am expecting a call from his sister who knows how mentally unstable he us

cdad · Feb 12, 2012, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by Robb138

I spoke with her yesterday. She is making it hard though. I am in constent contact with her mother, she appears to be moraly on my side. Also I am expecting a call from his sister who knows how mentally unstable he us

You need to be very very careful as to an outsider what your doing can be considered stalking. You should seek the advice of a lawyer and find out how best to handle information and how best to retain that information as it applies to your case.

Robb138 · Feb 12, 2012, 08:59 AM

Outsider? Stalkng? I'm afraid I don't understand.

cdad · Feb 12, 2012, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by Robb138

Outsider? Stalkng? I'm afraid I don't understand.

There is a fine line between seeking what you need to know and trying to covet information by any means. You need to be careful if the relationship is over and your still in pursuit mode. It can work against you. Get a lawyer and see how to go about getting what you need.

Robb138 · Feb 12, 2012, 09:22 AM

Oh. By all means I support her decision to return to her husband, regardless if I think its what's best. I have only asked her for legal parental rights, joint custody, and a hyphenated last name... hers and mine. She never legally changed her name when she got married.

Robb138 · Feb 12, 2012, 09:25 AM

I would completely agree to summer and extended holidays as visitation rights. Is that considered reasonable in the courts eyes?

cdad · Feb 12, 2012, 10:19 AM

We can't predict what the courts will say as reasonable. Are you going to be able to afford the flights to pick up the child? That is 2 airline seats per trip. It can add up fast. You need to take all of this into consideration. Also if the courts have a strong breastfeeding policy then you may not have overnights during the first year. You will have to travel to see your child. It is the big picture and what goes with it that only you can decide on.

Robb138 · Feb 12, 2012, 10:25 AM

Looks like I might be moving to N. Carolina. Thanks for the help.