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Singer93 · Feb 6, 2012, 01:12 PM

My boyfriend is amazing and I love him so much! But recently he was planning on going to a strip club (he didn't go but he's planning to go again) when I found out he was planning on going the first time I wrote to my friends that I think there should be a strip club for women! Just abit of fun as there will never be a strip club for women.. When he found out I had said this he got really mad and questioned me by saying- " so you would rather see other men naked?" and he was being really selfish. I think this is really wrong of him because he was planning on going to one and got so angry with me just for mentioning it! I told him he was a hypocrite and that he is in the wrong. I understand that he may of felt insecure because of what I said but at the end of the day he was actually going to go to one which is obviously going to make me feel insecure because he would rather go and look at other women in that way! I don't care what people say about "men are men and they have needs" but what about the women? It's really not fair and I want this question answered about why my boyfriend got angry with me when I was hypothetically speaking yet he was going to go?

CatieV · Feb 7, 2012, 03:59 PM

Erm, where do you live that there are no strip clubs for women? There are plenty in London, come over and have fun! And yes, it is totally unfair and selfich that your boyfrind thinks it's fine that he can stare at naked women and you can't do the same thing. Sounds like your boyfrind does not respect your rights, I am not saying dump him but I know for sure I would because my freedom is more important than a hypocritical man!

odinn7 · Feb 7, 2012, 04:05 PM

He's an idiot. If it's OK for him to go then he has no right at all to be mad at you for wanting to do the same thing. It's pretty clear that he doesn't think of you as an equal.

Singer93 · Feb 8, 2012, 03:52 AM

Thank you so much for answering, it's nice to hear someone else's opinion! He is going to Swansea for his friends birthday on the weekend and this is when he's going to a strip club. I will ask him if he went when he gets back and if he said yes then I'll confront him
About it.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 8, 2012, 01:20 PM

If men can go, women can go, and yes there are strip clubs for women, not as many, but there was and may still be one or two here in Atlanta.

But confront him? About what ? Going? Just give him the date you will be going to one.
Would he care if you danced at one?

Singer93 · Feb 9, 2012, 03:32 AM

Fr_Chuck; yes he would care if I went to one this is the problem he would hate it, this is what we we're arguing about. It's not even about the strip club it's about the fact that it's one rule for him and one rule for me. If it's not his way then it's no way. And as for him caring if I was a dancer.. Put it this way, we wouldn't be together. Even if I decided to get a sleeve tattooed (which I wouldn't) he would finish with me.

geminichick · Feb 9, 2012, 06:15 AM

I guess the question is why shouldn't you go to a strip club? It sounds like he has a one sided deal. I would have quoted his phrase back to him... "so you would rather see naked women instead of me!"

There are strip clubs out there for women. You have rights as a woman to go to a strip club with your girlfriends... just like he has the right to go to the strip club with his guy friends. Maybe if you search (on google) to find a strip club for women nearest you location you may be able to go to one.

talaniman · Feb 9, 2012, 09:27 PM

Your boyfriend is a controlling boob. The issue isn't about strip clubs, its about controlling your actions. He already knows you won't leave, and will do anything to keep him. Today it's the strip clubs. Tomorrow it will be something else.

When you allow bad behavior, expect more of it.

I wish · Feb 10, 2012, 12:57 PM

He sounds quite unreasonable. He can't follow one set of rules while implimenting different rules for you.

I hope this behavior doesn't carry over to other things, because it doesn't sound like he's long term material at the moment.

Unless he can get his act together, you might want to reconsider this relationship.

geminichick · Feb 10, 2012, 05:10 PM

It is an insecurity issue on his part but as far as being a "controlling" issue... could be. Does your boyfriend show extreme jealousy issues or controlling issues. For example... does he control who you talk to or wants to know who your chatting to on the telephone or tells you what you can or can't wear? Does he belittle you. These are signs of the abusive male. Been there done that!