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Ashley3214 · Feb 5, 2012, 06:58 PM

My boyfriend is going through the same crap. His ex changed her name. We can't find her and cannot see the kid, but when tax came, they took 3000 from both of us. We don't even know if he is safe. The last thing we heard was she claimed to be married, and the guy is taking care of the kid.

Last time I saw her was at Walmart. She had a big fit and didn't have anything for the kid in the cart but had everything for herself. She still acts like she is 14. I can't stand it anymore.

I need help. We went to get help. They said no because he wasn't the mother and didn't know if his son was in bad hands, but she could take him to court and cry about it. When she brought it on, she could have handled it another way, so I just laughed in her face and walked out holding my hubby's hand. We are now getting married, but I need help with this.

Anybody ?

Fr_Chuck · Feb 5, 2012, 07:45 PM

So when has your boyfriend, went to court and filed for visits with the child? When did he file to order her back to court to explain or show if there was any name change?

And the only reason they would take income tax is that he is behind on his child support, so why is he behind on child support, why is he not making his required payments?

Ashley3214 · Feb 5, 2012, 07:51 PM

We been paying since she claimed it she didn't till he was about a year old that's why he was behind also we always get checks saying we over paid I'm tierd of it he went to file papers for it at the court date for childsupport and never came back yet I'm tierd of waiting its drama

Ashley3214 · Feb 5, 2012, 11:55 PM

My husband wants to give up his rights its not fair he pays childsupport and she changes her name and gets married and has his son call this guy dad we went to court we filled papers out but then we get told we over pay and get a check I don't get it at all and she can cry about it nope no more with the little girls having baby's acting like that sorry act like a real mom

Wondergirl · Feb 6, 2012, 12:03 AM

Originally Posted by Ashley3214

little girls having babys acting like that start acting like a real mom

Both parties, the mom AND the dad, should grow up and realize they have a child they produced and are now responsible for. Like ScottGem said, "This is YOUR child. When you chose to have sex with his mother, you took on a responsibility to support any possible child from that action."

ScottGem · Feb 6, 2012, 04:15 AM

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on someone else's. This can lead to confusion. You should start a new thread. So I've moved your question to its own thread.

Why is it unfair that the mother can get married? Your husband married you didn't he? And how much is your husband a part of the child's life. Maybe he hasn't earned the right to be called dad? Did you ever stop and consider that?

It also appears you went to court to reduce the support, but nothing about visiting the child.

Sorry, but it sounds to me like the mother of his child IS acting like a real mom. And you are the one acting like the whining child. Your husband has a responsibility for HIS child. He has to step up and act like the father he is. You are unlikely to get much sympathy based on what you have posted. Maybe if we know more of the story we might have more sympathy for you or your husband. But not based on what you have posted so far.

JudyKayTee · Feb 6, 2012, 09:34 AM

If you want people to agree with you talk to your friends and family. If you want advice from experts who have heard all of this before, post it here.

Your attitude comes through loud and clear.

Being a father is NOT all about "gone down on payment." If the mother is a danger to the child, report her to the authorities. Of course, then you'll probably get stuck raising "the kid."

I don't understand the part about your husband marrying you and that's no problem. The mother married and that IS a problem.

Maybe your husband should have thought this out a little better before he had sex with a woman and she got pregnant. She didn't get pregnant by herself. He's the father. He's paying for his lack of judgment.

ScottGem · Feb 6, 2012, 10:52 AM

Ashley,

First, this is not "your page". You do not dictate who can and can't respond to what you post. If you feel a response has violated our rules, use the Report function so it can be reviewed and appropriate action taken.

Second, you have violated out rules with your responses to people trying to help you. In my response I specifically referred to what you had "posted so far". If you wanted to clarify by providing more details, we could have revised our response. Instead you chose to insult and attack people which seems to confirm our initial reactions. Those insults have been removed because they violated our rules.

I've also merged your two threads, because they refer to the same issue except that yesterday he was your boyfriend and today he is your husband. You won't get very much help if you don't tell us the real story. So I'm giving you one more chance to tell us the truth and to keep it civil. If you don't further action will be taken.