[audrey150]

My boyfriend beat me up once pretty badly. He swore he never do this again. He has cancer I am back with him but I am scared sometimes that he would do the same thing again. It seems as though he has changed. I don't know what I am doing with him. Do men that abuses women change? Should I leave him?

[talaniman]

Sorry but they often lose it again under stress or duress, even after a period of good behavior. Yes leave because you and your son don't need this kind of fear, and uncertainty in your lives.

[odinn7]

My sister used to get beat up by her husband repeatedly. He was always sorry, always was going to change, always loved her... until the next time. It took her almost dying before she finally was able to stop believing him.

I'd like to believe it's possible that people can change but I'm sorry, I don't. Is it really worth risking your health and possibly your life? I don't think it is.

[audrey150]

I know the right thing to do is leave him because I am always afraid he would lose it again and beat me up, the beating was so severe I was so sure I was going to die I don't know how I got myself in this mess again. I think my problem is financial although I have a great job I am in debt and he is always willing to help

[audrey150]

I am scared and depress

[Homegirl 50]

Men who abuse often attach himself to needy women.
You need to get away from this man. Watch your finances, you don't need him as much as you think you do.
Abusers are very often repeat offenders

[amicon]

Leave now.

You do NOT need this person in your life.

[geminichick]

Men who are abusive usually do not change. They may try to tell you they have changed or they will never do it again, but, unfortunately it does. These men do have issues that we cannot change. I do understand this a little to well with personal experience.

It is horrible that he has cancer but that doesn't change the fact that he is abusive. You need to leave the man. Women who stay with their abusive men end up in deadly consequesnces. Going to the police and being where it is safe is a start. The police can protect you. Provide you with the right support you need. Women Resource Centres and Victims Witness Assistance will provide you help, support and counselling that you need.

You need to start taking your control back and taking courses on assertiveness training as well as knowing to spot the warning signs of an abusive man... so you don't end up in the same situation twice. Women who have been a victim of domestic violence who don't get the proper help will end up a victim again of abuse.

The important thing to remember is you cannot fix abusive men. That's not your job. YOur job is to protect and look after you. A lot of these men don't think they have a problem. They may have views like... "women need to be trained". Which is what my ex thought and felt.

Stay safe and take care. My thoughts are going out to you.

[Fr_Chuck]

Leave him, if he really has changed, let the next women be the one to find out. Seldom do they ever change. If he has "changed" how many years of counseling has he done to change, How many months of anger management.

If he merely says he is sorry and he has changed, no that is normal and expected of a person who abuses women