Check out some similar questions!

keyheart · Feb 1, 2012, 12:36 PM

I'm going to be 16 in three months, and the guy I like is going to be 20, is it OK if I date him?

sly102 · Feb 1, 2012, 02:22 PM

I believe that the age difference is up there but you should listen to your mind but follow your heart. You and him are old enough to decide what the both of you should do. Be aware that he is older than you and he can possible out smart you(only because he's lived longer than you.)

ScottGem · Feb 1, 2012, 05:20 PM

OK from what standpoint? Legally there are no laws against dating. But your parents have to approve of anyone you date until you are 18.

It may also be illegal for you to engage in ANY sexual activity with him.

From the standpoint of age difference, the two of you are at very different points of development. A 20 yr old would seem to have little in common with a 16 yr old. Even one close to 16. A 20 yr old is an adult, a 16 yr old is still a child.

Have you talked to your parents about it?

ScottGem · Feb 1, 2012, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by sly102

You and him are old enough to decide what the both of you should do.

Actually from a legal standpoint she may not be old enough to decide for herself.

Shanksyx3 · Feb 3, 2012, 04:26 PM

I am going through the same problems, but I'm 15 and I'm texting a 21 year old, and I'm very close to him. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it's all your choice if it feels right, and you know he's going to treat you right, then just stick with it.

I think you both should sit down and talk about all of it before anyone gets hurt :)

Good luck

ScottGem · Feb 3, 2012, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by Shanksyx3

i am goin true the same problems but im 15 and im textin a 21 year old and im very close to him haha it doesnt what anyone else thinks its all your choice if it feels right and you know hes goin to treat you right then just stick with it i think use should sit down and talk about all of it first before anyone gets hurt :)
good luck x

Are your parents aware of this? Do you understand that this is how pedophiles, perverts and abusers get their victims? A 21 yr old has NO business texting a 15 yr old. Of course it "feels right" to you, but you clearly don't understand the implications.

If you parents don't know about this you NEED to tell them right away!

CliffARobinson · Feb 3, 2012, 06:03 PM

I am going to answer your question directly:

No.

You should not date him. Find someone your own age. 16 and 20 are a big difference. You know deep down there is something wrong with it or else you wouldn't ask the question on this site.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 3, 2012, 06:27 PM

Way to go, Cliff! Agree it is wrong on too many levels. Unless your parents will allow it, it can't happen anyway.

ilove_eminem · Feb 3, 2012, 10:18 PM

It perfectlyyyyyyyy fine!
Dudette, I've dated a guy hu was 11yrz elser to me!
When I was 14, he was 25

CliffARobinson · Feb 3, 2012, 11:02 PM

Ilove eminem - 14 and 25 is not only illegal in most countries, if any type of sexual relations are involved, but it is straight up pedophilia for a 25 yo to have interest in a 14 year old in a romantic or sexual manner.

JudyKayTee · Feb 4, 2012, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by ilove_eminem

it perfectlyyyyyyyy fine!
dudette, ive dated a guy hu was 11yrz elser to me!
wen i was 14, he was 25

Here's my very specific problem - aside from the illegality.

I see no indication that you "dated" this guy. In fact, you are asking for advice about this "relationship" on your own thread. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...im-633159.html

Why would you recommend a relationship which obviously causes you pain to another person?

ilove_eminem · Feb 4, 2012, 09:07 PM

Judykaytee-
Am just sharing my opinion!
My point was that I had dated such an elder man, so there is nothing wrong with a
16year old to date a 20 year old.

odinn7 · Feb 4, 2012, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by ilove_eminem

so there is nothing wrong with a
16year old to date a 20 year old.

Yeah, there is plenty wrong with this. Because you claim to have done it doesn't make it right.

ilove_eminem · Feb 5, 2012, 12:01 AM

Pleaseee I don't see anything wrong with it. He is just foru years elder to her. No big deal

odinn7 · Feb 5, 2012, 12:07 AM

A 20 year old is an adult... a 16 year old is not. There are so many things wrong with it that others have already brought up and I don't need to go over them again. You are wrong and hopefully, one day, you will realize you are before something bad happens.

And thanks for giving me the negative mark simply because you don't agree.

JudyKayTee · Feb 5, 2012, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by ilove_eminem

pleaseee i dont see anything wrong with it. he is just foru years elder to her. no big deal

You don't see anything wrong with it. The Police do. End of discussion.

You continue to post conflicting information. What is the truth about "your" situation?

ScottGem · Feb 5, 2012, 08:13 AM

Originally Posted by ilove_eminem

pleaseee i dont see anything wrong with it. he is just foru years elder to her. no big deal

The purpose of this site is to provide quality advice to people with problems. While everyone is entitled to their opinions, we expect those opinions to be made from significant experience and knowledge. You don't help when you support a very questionable relationship. As everyone else has pointed out this is a very questionable relationship. Your questions here indicate that your experience with relationships is spotty at best and does not qualify you to be advising others to follow your lead.

You can express your opinion, but when the advice is not very good, others will express their opinion about that advice.

The fact here is that a 4 year age difference is not important when both are adults. But when one or both are still adolescents the difference is magnified. Also, has someone else pointed out the law makes that distinction as well.

DaniCalifornia · Feb 6, 2012, 04:07 AM

Keyheart, I hope you read through this thread and find the answer obvious...